From sexual strangulation to non-consensual choking: Where does Gen Z draw the line?
An Australian survey of 4,702 individuals aged 18 to 35, published in the archives of sexual behaviour, revealed that 57 per cent had been strangled during sex at least once. Similarly, 51 per cent had strangled a partner at least one time. These findings open up a broader conversation about young people’s perceptions of choking during sex, extending the discussion to similar trends observed in both the UK and the US.
A similar phenomenon has emerged in the UK, where choking during sex is increasingly seen as a normalised part of sexual experiences, particularly among young people, and especially among women. The conversation is now often reduced to whether choking is simply a ‘normal sexual act’, rather than critically examining its implications.
The crux of the matter here is not about judging or condemning the act itself, but rather about its normalisation to the point where it’s often performed without explicit consent. This shift in perception is troubling as it blurs the lines between consensual and non-consensual acts, potentially leading to situations where consent is not communicated or obtained.
Choking and domestic violence are on the rise
Talking to The Guardian, study co-author Professor Heather Douglas from Melbourne University Law School highlighted that throughout the research, a concerning factor. Apparently, many respondents had not consented to being strangled, as consent given during one sexual encounter was often perceived as consenting to strangling during subsequent encounters with that partner despite the absence of verbal confirmation.
This study also emerges at a time when Australia’s crisis of domestic abuse has reached alarming levels, coinciding with a broader moral debate over pornography. Partner violence remains a grave and widespread issue. However, the current national focus on strangulation seems to sidestep the crucial aspects of consent and its education. Yet, these findings have sparked renewed discussions on the role of pornography and its early exposure in contributing to societal problems.
Speaking to The Guardian, Respect Victoria CEO Serina McDuff stated: “I don’t think there’s research that says if you do strangulation in the bedroom, you’re more likely to experience strangulation in domestic violence.” McDuff continued: “But in some relationships, both are happening, and it’s problematic when the perpetrator who is exerting coercive control is also the one giving the victim and survivor information about the safety of sexual choking.”
What’s the difference between choking and strangulation?
Choking during partnered sex is a form of sexual asphyxiation. Although it’s colloquially called ‘choking’, it’s actually a form of strangulation, as it is performed by pressing or squeezing the neck. This pressure restricts blood flow, causing blood congestion in the brain. The result is lightheadedness due to decreased oxygen levels and increased carbon dioxide, which some individuals find enhances erotic pleasure.
Professor Douglas noted that choking a person during sex can cause brain injury, even when the person remains conscious, and even when there are no visible injuries. It can also cause death.
“It doesn’t matter if there are no apparent injuries, or whether the person consented,” Professor Douglas told The Guardian. “Brain injury can also be incremental—getting a bit worse with each choking—and the person may not know they have suffered a brain injury. The effects of repeated strangling are insidious and build over time, like the effects of repeated concussions on footballers.”
Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s crucial to recognise that the kink community has made strides in creating safe and non-judgmental spaces for exploring intimate preferences, driven largely by the sex positivity movement, and open conversations about sex and sexuality. Technology and social media have also kept pace, offering a range of platforms to support diverse sexual interests.
Today, there’s no shortage of dating apps designed for every kind of sexual preference, whether it’s polyamory, BDSM, or a different type of kink or fetish. These digital spaces allow individuals to connect with like-minded people and find communities that affirm their interests without fear of judgment. More often than not, these platforms can foster positive and fulfilling sexual experiences.
The alarming rise of sexual strangulation among young people
A pressing concern arises with younger generations, many of whom are just beginning their sexual journeys. As they explore their desires, they face the risk of misunderstanding their boundaries or those of their partners. This lack of experience can make it challenging for them to engage in these practices safely and consensually.
Experts emphasise that no form of choking is completely safe. The real issue isn’t necessarily the kink itself, which ideally involves thorough conversations and research to manage risks, but rather its mainstream normalisation. This normalisation risks blurring the lines of consent, making it seem like a standard component of sexual activity rather than a practice requiring explicit agreement.
@kayla.5044 Aha. I like to laugh about it but seriously, LETS CALL IT WHAT IT IS! #domesticabuseawareness #domesticviloenceawareness #domesticviolencesurvivor #speakup
♬ original sound - Taylor Dean
As reported by The New York Times, Debby Herbenick, one of the foremost researchers on American sexual behaviour and the director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, has been tracking the rise of “rough sex” among college students, particularly sexual strangulation, colloquially known as choking.
In her most recent survey of 5,000 students at an anonymised major Midwestern university, nearly two-thirds of women reported that a partner had choked them during sex, with one-third experiencing this in their most recent encounter. Alarmingly, the rate of women who were between the ages of 12 and 17 the first time it happened has increased to 40 per cent, up from one in four.
Dr Herbenick told The New York Times that choking first gained mainstream attention in a 2008 episode of Showtime’s Californication, and its depiction became more widespread after the success of Fifty Shades of Grey. By 2019, choking was depicted as standard in the pilot of HBO’s Euphoria. The practice also appeared in HBO’s The Idol and was played for laughs in Ali Wong’s Netflix special and Tina Fey’s new Mean Girls. Jack Harlow’s song ‘Lovin On Me’, which topped Billboard’s Hot 100 chart, includes the line: “I’m vanilla, baby, I’ll choke you, but I ain’t no killer, baby.” How-to articles on choking are commonplace now online, and social media algorithms frequently expose young people to memes that mock or even celebrate the potential for harming or killing female partners.
Navigating the legal and ethical boundaries of consensual sadomasochistic encounters can be complex. The rise in the popularity of choking has led to campaigns like Breathless, which aim to educate young people about the dangers of this practice. Strangulation during sex, primarily affecting women, is extremely dangerous. The normalisation of such acts can give one participant disproportionate power over the other’s life, posing serious risks.
A tragic example reported by the BBC involves Georgia Brooke, who died after being strangled by her boyfriend during sex. The coroner’s inquest highlighted the dangers of sexual choking, describing it as a practice that “all too often ends in fatal consequences.”
In response to these risks, the UK government introduced a new non-fatal strangulation offence in 2022. This law aims to address the alarming increase in incidents and provides legal recourse for victims. Despite a 15 per cent increase in rape convictions in recent months, the prevalence of dangerous sexual practices remains a significant concern.
To tackle this issue, it is essential to empower young women, who are often influenced by a misogynistic and patriarchal pornography landscape, by equipping them with the tools to make informed decisions about their sexual experiences.
Feminist pornography has emerged as a potential solution, as it is produced and directed by women with a focus on ethical production, inclusivity, and genuine female pleasure. This genre challenges the objectification of women prevalent in mainstream porn and encourages a reevaluation of societal views on female sexuality. It raises the question of whether feminist pornography can shift social attitudes toward porn, female sexuality, and sexual consent. Additionally, it explores the concept of the female gaze, its benefits, and whether there are gender differences in how this gaze is expressed.
It is important to emphasise that there is no single right or wrong way to engage in sex. Practices such as kink and BDSM are not inherently problematic; they are valid forms of sexual expression when approached with mutual consent and clear understanding. What is crucial, however, is having a comprehensive awareness of what these practices entail and their potential risks.
