It’s that time of year again! By now, you may be well in tune with the long lost Christmas songs of last year, you may have even dusted out the tinsel and put the tree up in its assertive homely position. Or, you may be wearing your dark glasses and earplugs, shielding from it all! Either way, Christmas is almost here and it’s time to get ready for the feasting, the family and finer seasonal details! One of these details is the infamous Christmas cracker, you can’t forget about it. This year, we want you to do things a little differently—because why not, it’s 2020? Here’s how to make your own Christmas crackers, and what to put in them.
Keep all the toilet rolls tubes that you would have otherwise chucked in the bin, you’ll need a few of those! It doesn’t matter how many, that just depends on how many people you’d like to make some crackers for.
Apart from toilet roll tubes, you’ll also need wrapping paper (you can use any paper, newspaper, book pages, painted paper, get creative!), sticky tape, cracker snaps (not necessary unless you want the bang), scissors, a string or ribbon, and a few small exciting things to put inside your crackers.
I like to make my Christmas crackers a little more like a present and less like a cheap throwaway accessory. Check what they have in some sustainable stores near you, maybe some little wooden teaspoons? They are always useful, and they’re cheap. Maybe some lipstick or lip balm—what about eye shadow? Mascara? Think of little things that will be useful to whoever will open the crackers. A roll of film? Maybe even a nice pen? A ball of nutmeg or a sachet of mixed spice? You get the gist.
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Look at these gorgeous cracker gifts! With thanks to The Eco Witch, Seedball, Hogwash soaps, Sandangels Organics, The Tiny Marmalade Company, and South Devon Chilli Farm. Which one would you like to get? 🤔 #ecofriendly #ecofriendlygifts #sustainableliving #christmascrackers #ecochristmas
First off, get your toilet roll tube and place it in the middle of the paper you’d like to wrap your cracker in. Hold it in place with some sticky tape. If you’re using cracker snaps, line one of them up from one end of the paper, through the tube, and out to the other side of the paper.
Roll the paper around the tube and secure it with a few bits of tape so that the tube doesn’t wiggle around. You should have a longer tube of paper in a roll now, open on either end, with the tube somewhere in the middle.
Find the end on one side of the tube, and squish the paper at the end of it down. You can give it a light twist, or shape it however you want so that the cracker has a nice ‘neck’ to it. Think bow tie. Then, tie a piece of your string or ribbon around the neck so that it holds in place, cut off the straggly bits of the knot or make a bow with the string.
You should have one end of the cracker open still, so that you can drop your little presents into the cracker. Then do just that, drop them in! Seal the end the same way you did on the other side, with a nice neck and all. Et voila!
You have just made your own Christmas cracker. It’s so much more fun than buying the plastic, wasteful and overpriced store-bought ones. We are going to have a sustainable and personalised Christmas this year, because I think all of us need a little special tender loving care. Will you get on board with this too?
If you love the bad Christmas cracker jokes that come in bought crackers as much as I do, then we’re already friends. Here are a few 2020 inspired ideas to slip into your homemade crackers. I didn’t make these up by the way, but I’ll take the credit for finding them.
“What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut? A barbeque.”
“What do Donald Trump’s presidency and your advent calendar have in common? Both their days are numbered.”
“Why doesn’t the guy like to wear a mask? He said it lowers his maskulinity.”
“What did Santa do when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker.”
“They said gloves and a mask would be enough to go to the supermarket. They lied, everyone else had their clothes on.”
“What do you call a chicken staring at a lettuce? A chicken sees a salad.”
Okay, that’s enough. Merry Christmas babes!
As our social calendars fill up with work parties, ‘friendsmas’ roasts and gorging ourselves on the sofa, it may seem that leftover food and creating debris is unavoidable. There are always hundreds of roasties, litres of gravy, bowls of sprouts left untouched. The Waste & Resources Action Programme (WRAP) states that between 30 and 50 per cent of all food produced globally goes straight into landfill, and in the midst of the climate crisis it’s vital we take responsibility for, and make fundamental changes to our consumption habits.
Read on for ten absolute crackers to suit a plethora of scenarios:
1. Take a lunch box everywhere
A solid opener, no-shame scavenging; stick your leftover roast potatoes in there, your mum’s half-eaten dessert, the rest of the cheeseboard no-one needed. It’s an imperative bit of kit, and if someone looks at it disapprovingly, it’s only because they’re jealous they didn’t think of it.
2. Classic leftover meals
So, you’ve now got a huge box of surplus meat and vegetables, then what? Forgotten over the last two generations, thrifty post-war meals using leftovers were national staples before the global food market made us all lazy and nutrient-deficient. Here are a few delicious options you could cook up after a big Christmas do.
– Toad in the Hole (Yorkshire batter and sausages traybake)
– Bubble & Squeak patties (mashed veg and spuds in fried cakes)
– Cheese & braised red cabbage toastie (with cranberry sauce)
– Turkey pasta bake with creamy mushrooms and thyme
– Broccoli and stilton soup (add a little gravy to the stock)
3. Love thy neighbour
If you live next to or near someone who you think might not be able to cook for themself, be a darling and take them over a hot meal. It’s no effort to plate up something from your leftovers and microwave it for them. If you’re feeling extra cute, leave a few After Eights and a cuppa tea.
4. Sprouts are boss
Being a former avoider, I’m now very much a brussel lout. These incredible flavour orbs are related to cabbage, aid enzymatic digestion and boost blood circulation. It’s best to peel bad leaves off all the uncooked sprouts you have left in one go, as it’s really boring. Try shredding in a sprout, apple, fennel bulb and caraway seed slaw with a honey and mustard dressing, or stirfry with onions, mushrooms and cream for a toast topping.
5. Pudding for breakfast
This one is for the heads. We all know cold spuds is a legitimate morning snack, but what about a slab of gateaux with your first coffee? Victoria sponge and builders’ tea? Christmas pudding with a herbal brew or lemon cheesecake and OJ? After a hefty sugar punch to complement the caffeine, prepare for a pre-lunch crash.
6. Wonderful wild herbs
Wonderful for so many reasons, including the fact that they’re very hardy so they grow absolutely everywhere, are easy to identify, and can help you spend no money and reduce your plastic consumption. Learn to harness their incredible flavours, because they lift everything—add chopped rosemary to roasting potatoes or a sprig of thyme in your G&T, steep mint and fennel in a pot after dinner for a digestive tea. Forage responsibly; don’t pick unless you’re certain, and never strip or uproot a plant.
7. Pickle it
Vegetable skins are delicious, packed with fibre and, if grown organically, host beneficial bacteria and minerals from the soil. If you can’t convince the chef to keep the skins on your carrots, don’t despair. Stealthily make this sour side dish; pickle with 150ml vinegar, 150ml water, 2 tbsp sugar and 1 tbsp salt, star anise, chopped garlic and a bay leaf. Heat on the hob until sugar melts, then add to skins in a bowl. They only need an hour to marinate, then whip them out at the dinner table and blow their tiny minds.
8. Surplus citrus
There will undoubtedly be tonnes of clementines in your vicinity, so nab some, slice thinly on the horizontal and dry on a radiator to create some beaut, fragrant decorations. String them together like a boss.
What about all the half-drunk bottles of wine and warm lager dregs littering the kitchen? Don’t throw down the sink, it’s a precious resource—naturally fermented liquids with deep umami and sour flavours. Stick them all in a labelled bottle in the fridge to store and use them to build a tasty base for a gravy or a stock. If you’re feeling experimental, add a raw vinegar mother and store for 6 weeks to turn this waste product into a delicious cupboard essential.
10. Local resource redistribution
There’s no need to eat every chocolate that enters your periphery; take those spare sweets to your local hostel or homeless shelter. And if you have any cooking or washing-up skills at all, you could be in-demand. Ring ahead to see if they’re serving hot meals over the holiday period, and whether they might benefit from your time and expertise.