What is a soft boy? Here’s everything you need to know

By Alma Fabiani

Published Nov 21, 2020 at 07:00 AM

Reading time: 2 minutes

6491

You’ve probably heard or read the term soft boy somewhere online. Also spelled softboy or softboi, the term is used to describe a specific type of man. Here’s exactly what it means and a few examples of typical soft boys.

What is a soft boy?

Urban Dictionary has more than one definition for the word soft boy but all of them seem to agree on a few points. Although the term is used to describe boys, soft boys have features and behaviours that most would qualify as almost feminine. They also have a sensitive side that differentiates them from the previously used term fuckboy.

Negative definition

“Similar to a fuckboy but without the cocky attitude. The softboy will butter a girl up by appealing to her emotions and showing a ‘sensitive’ side long enough for her to sleep with him, whether or not he actually cares about her or not. Then, like the fuckboy, he can’t and won’t commit. Differs from the fuckboy because he goes for the heart and emotions rather than just the body,” says one of Urban Dictionary’s definitions.

@beam_me_up_softboi is the Instagram account that shares with its followers screenshots of conversations with typical soft boys trying to impress girls with their indie music knowledge and their fake philosophy of life.

View this post on Instagram

dang

A post shared by we r all indie softbois here (@beam_me_up_softboi) on

As much as this can be true for some, not all soft boys are manipulative liars. Soft boys can also be recognised by their soft and gentle attitude.

Positive definition

Many believe that soft boys come as a package, meaning that yes, they are nice and easily likeable, but they also have a very precise aesthetic that makes them recognisable from afar. From wearing pastel tracksuits and having soft, natural hair, soft boys are, well, soft inside and out.

K-pop as an influence

Many agree that soft boys are a watered-down version of K-pop and its boyfriend aesthetic which then influenced western culture. In K-pop, the boyfriend look describes an outfit made of pastel tones, muted colours and having a classic hairstyle.

This style is named the boyfriend aesthetic as it is an outfit that a man could wear to meet his partner’s parents in.

Soft boy examples

As mentioned in The Guardian’s What is a softboi? You might be dating one – and you don’t even know it, Timothée Chalamet is probably the perfect and most used celebrity example of a soft boy. His explicit embrace of femininity and rejection of traditional masculinity has struck a nerve with audiences of all ages who have marvelled at him (for good reasons).

Very similar to Chalamet is Harry Styles, who recently also showed a different approach to masculinity by wearing nail varnish, pearl necklaces and more feminine apparel.

Less famous but also coming under the soft boy umbrella are actors Cole Sprouse from the series Riverdale and Noah Centineo who starred in rom-coms such as The Perfect Date and To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before.

A rejection of traditional masculinity

Whether you decide to use the term or not, soft boys have inundated social media platforms such as Instagram and TikTok and are here to stay. And, to be honest, with toxic masculinity finally being challenged, it’s the perfect time for us to accept soft boys as a gentler, kinder sort of man.

Keep On Reading

By Abby Amoakuh

France’s AI systems for Olympics disproportionately target minorities and expose them to violence

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Zara pulls children’s T-shirt after backlash over strawberry design

By Charlie Sawyer

TikTok Tradwife Estee Williams tells women how to be feminine, fit, and friendly to attract a wealthy man

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Fashionably late to the satirical bash, conservatives finally get the message behind The Boys

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Kansas Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker hits back at critics following problematic commencement speech

By Abby Amoakuh

Shocking recording reveals bias in controversial Times profile on Ballerina Farm Hannah Neeleman

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Armie Hammer breaks silence on cannibal rumours and assault allegations in podcast interview

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Are gender quotas in schools sabotaging success for girls? Bulgaria’s controversial policy puts boys ahead

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Biden remains in US presidential race despite NATO blunders and growing Democrat pressure

By Abby Amoakuh

What does 304 mean? We explain the secret code that’s breaking TikTok

By Charlie Sawyer

From Hollywood actor to crackpot conspiracy theorist, here’s why we should fear Owen Benjamin 

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

University academic who sent girl to Iraq for FGM jailed for a meagre 4 and a half years

By Charlie Sawyer

Republican Rep says he’d force his daughter to carry pregnancy from rape

By Charlie Sawyer

Mpox outbreak: What you need to know to stay safe and informed

By Abby Amoakuh

Move over Tom Cruise, TikTok blind item hints at Sabrina Carpenter becoming Scientology’s new face

By Abby Amoakuh

Jenna Ortega deleted X after receiving pictures of nudes and underaged deepfake porn of herself

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

TikTokers rally behind Simu Liu after he calls out bubble tea whitewashing on Dragon’s Den

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

What is Rebecca Syndrome? The toxic dating trend jeopardising relationships everywhere

By Charlie Sawyer

American Airlines blames 9-year-old girl for not detecting flight attendant’s hidden bathroom camera

By J'Nae Phillips

How TikTok’s Kendrick Lamar Girl Aesthetic strips away Black culture’s significance