If you’re among the few who are genuinely interested in global reproductive theory and fertility rates, you’ve likely heard about the baby bust. The term describes a period where birth rates decline, which can have a number of consequences on the economy, population dynamics, and health care system. And spoiler, the world’s kind of in one right now.

Some countries like Hungary, Italy and Greece have taken desperate measures to incentivise people to give birth and repopulate less inhabited areas, ranging from monetary bonuses, tax breaks, loan forgiveness, and reduced childcare costs. Yet, one country has taken a very interesting route by recommending that citizens should use their spare time at work to bolster the nation’s declining population. Introducing Russian President Vladimir Putin’s newest and wankiest plan to ramp up pregnancies in Russia.

Putin has reportedly given his stamp of approval to a so-called “sex-at-work” initiative. The scheme, which encourages workers to enjoy their lunch and coffee breaks a little bit too much, was launched as part of a broader strategy to address the country’s baby bust, which has been sweeping through many global economies post the COVID-19 pandemic.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with global reproduction, there is something called a replacement rate, or a rate at which one generation naturally replaces itself with the next one, which currently stands at 2.1 children per woman.

However, Russia is recording around 1.5 children per woman right now, similar to China which is struggling with 1.3 children being born during a woman’s lifetime, or Germany where the birth rate has plummeted to 1.59 children per woman.

Putin has stressed that leading Russia towards a baby boom is of “the highest national priority,” claiming that the survival and future of the country is at stake.

“The fate of Russia … depends on how many of us there will be. It is a question of national importance,” the president said.

The leader’s decision was, of course, backed by the country’s health minister Dr Yevgeny Shestopalov, who said that the “sex-at-work” move was supposed to address time constraints that might stifle reproductive activities.

“There are people who work 12 to 14 hours—when do they make babies?” one reporter asked Dr Shestopalov. “During break time,” he replied. “Being very busy at work is not a valid reason, but a lame excuse. You can engage in procreation during breaks because life flies by too quickly.”

Yet, a lack of time to procreate isn’t exactly what has led to the rapid population decline. For example, the issue was certainly exacerbated by the ongoing war in Ukraine, which has led over one million young Russians to flee the country in fear of being dragged to the front line. As conscription requirements return to Europe, Russia has maintained a 12-month draft, which is mandatory for all male citizens who are between 18 and 30 years old.

On top of this, a recession and rampant inflation have largely deterred the potential to-be-parents from tossing contraceptives out the window.

Throw poor day-care provision, the rising costs of education and supporting ageing parents into the mix, as well as a climate crisis and dwindling resources, and you have the perfect storm for a serious lack of libido.

In a nod to those concerns, countries like China have indicated plans to improve maternity leave, workplace protections, and disposable income for potential new families, however, it’s been critiqued that this doesn’t sufficiently address the factors that have led to the bust.

Of course, the effects of a declining population should not be underestimated. New generations drive the workforce, and innovation, produce goods and services and then spend their income, in a cycle that drives supply, demand and growth. They also pay taxes that fund programs like Social Security and Medicare.

With immigration remaining an elusive solution as right-wing and anti-immigrant rhetoric is taking hold across the world, we’ll likely see more indecent propositions as the one introduced by Putin himself.