Name: Serena
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 23
Occupation: Digital marketing
Dating history: Lacklustre
Looking for: Someone more mentally stable than me
We met on Hinge (predictable gen Zer, I know). We’d been chatting for around three weeks. One night, he asked if he could come round to my uni house so that we could watch a film together. Anyways, he diligently bought me a bag full of my favourite chocolate and sweets, and after a rather awkward living room cup of tea, we made it upstairs.
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Sitting down on my bed, I began to start scrolling through Netflix, searching for something fun but not overtly suggestive. P.S. I Love You, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, you get the gist.
Then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, he started stroking my hair—mind you, at this point we hadn’t as much as held hands—and I was totally taken off guard. Then, as I’m calling out potential films, he goes “I’ve never heard of Les Mis, what’s that?” Never heard of Les Mis?! I’m not looking for Lin Manuel-Miranda, but c’mon.
Then, a flick catches his darting eye: Over the Hedge. Yes, the 2006 animated adventure film about a bunch of forest animals who play pranks on humans while scavenging food for a revengeful bear named Vincent…
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I try to swallow my pride and give him the benefit of the doubt—maybe he’s just really into animated films? We watch the film, fall asleep, and by the time morning has come I’ve pretty much decided in my slumber that I have zero interest in this man. Oh, and by the way, he continued to stroke my hair the entire night despite my many attempts to move his hand.
And then, this man has the absolute nerve to leave my home before I’ve awoken—creeping down the crickety stairs like a bloody bandit—and take back the chocolate and sweets he brought for me the night before.
Why bring me a Toblerone, packet of strawbs and Diet Coke if less than 24 hours later you’re gonna pinch them back and piss off? He was definitely attractive and there was an inkling of a spark, but to be honest I’m not sure if I can get over chocolate-gate. What do you think?
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