If, like me, you grew up watching MTV every afternoon after school, then you’ll probably agree that music videos mean a lot to you—or at least, they used to. Nowadays, we tend to care more about an artist’s Instagram profile than their actual music videos, which have sadly become so banal. But it should be said that from Marylin Manson’s terrifying aesthetic to Madonna’s (at the time) outrageous BDSM-inspired video for ‘Justify My Love’, there certainly was a lot to be amazed by.
What really fascinated me the most were sexy music videos. I felt like I was watching something forbidden, yet I dreamt of dancing under the rain and rolling around in some mud like Shakira in ‘Whenever, Wherever’. To celebrate my love of sexiness, here are the sexiest music videos ever according to my 12-year-old self.
This piece had to begin with this music video—I simply had no other option but to mention what remains one of the most shocking pop culture moments in my life. Released first in Russia in 2000 by the music duo t.A.T.u., the English version of the song was then released by Universal Studios as the lead single from their album in Europe in 2002.
Both the song and the music video tell the story of two girls developing feelings for each other. Because it depicted themes of underage lesbianism, ‘All the Things She Said’ caused considerable controversy in several countries.
Several organisations protested against the video and tried to ban it, while some music stations removed the scenes featuring the girls kissing. As it later turned out, the concept behind the story came from Elena Kiper, one of the songwriters who worked on the track, who had a dream of lesbianism at a dentist appointment. Thank you morphine for that!
Even in 1990, Madonna was already one of the biggest trendsetters there is. Before current artists such as Cardi B or Nicki Minaj made sexy videos mainstream, Madonna was one of the few female artists who dared to release music videos like ‘Justify My Love’. The video touches upon themes of BDSM and sadomasochism and I’ve never been able to forget about it.
I mean, do I even need to say anything about this music video? Released in 2005, the video depicts full-frontal nudity and a whole lot of boobs. Bit much in my honest opinion, but the sexiness (or pure provocation) cannot be denied.
Although now that I’ve watched it again, the video seems borderline ridiculous, it truly used to shake me when I was a teenager. At the time, I didn’t have the weird hatred for Mariah Carey that I now have—I blame it on the annual torture of ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’.
Remember that girl covered in gold paint dancing in only her bikini in front of what I assume is Milow singing and playing his guitar while he eyes her up. In come more bikini-clad girls mid-song and Milow looks like he’s literally melting. On a side note, as hot as the golden girl was, even as a teenager, I couldn’t help but notice the spot in the middle of her forehead. No shaming though.
What a tune! As notorious as Spears is for her unapologetic hotness, ‘Toxic’ remains her sexiest music video. From the amazingly tiny air hostess outfit she wears at first and the make-out session with a dude in the loo to her almost transparent bedazzled catsuit and riding on the back of a motorcycle gripping a half-naked man’s torso, it’s an understatement to say that this video was sexy. It was too hot to handle!
Everyone says that Shakira looks like she doesn’t age, well neither do her videos apparently. If you’re too young to actually remember how massive this song was, think of it as the ‘Despacito’ of millennials. The music video starts with a shot of Shakira, the one and only, underwater in the coolest leather outfit.
As the beat fastens, she gets projected out of the ocean like a female-style Jesus Christ and starts dancing and singing surrounded by the natural elements. A leather-clad Shakira mixed with her belly dancing skills can’t be anything but sexy!
This music video is giving me the same vibes as the previous one: dirty, but this time, with an extra layer of grease added on top. Honestly, watching it again barely makes me feel anything other than nostalgia but back then, boy oh boy was I into this freakish, circus, car race aesthetic.
The list could go on and on—from Nelly Furtado and the Pussycat Dolls to Gwen Stefani and Missy Elliott, these are the artists that made me the woman that I am now, or should I say, the horny teenager that I was back then. I’ll leave you with this statement, followed by a life-changing question: when I die, I want ‘All the Things She Said’ played at my funeral. Which sexy song would you like to be played at your funeral?
Let’s be honest here, who has never rewatched a steamy movie scene just to feel the thrill of great on-screen chemistry once more? I know the answer is yes for a lot of you, just like I now know why I religiously watched so many of those lousy chick flicks as a teen; for the exhilarating thrill that I used to feel when the main characters would (finally) get it on. Growing up, we usually ditch the cheesy movies and end up looking for this exact same feeling in other types of movies, some more mature ones.
If, like me, you’re on a constant quest for the hottest movies out there, I’ve listed the sexiest ones to watch on Else Cinema, my new go-to streaming platform when it comes to erotica. Looking for a sensual romance? Else Cinema has got it. Are you more into passionate affairs? Don’t stress, Else Cinema is here for that too! Here’s my top 10 of the sexiest movies to watch on Else Cinema right now. You’re welcome.
Did you just spend a few months working from home, stuck in a chain of video calls? If so, you might have thought about the hot potential of webcams when it comes to erotic experiences—my techy-but-horny self definitely did. Well, SkypeSex, directed by the founder of Else Cinema and erotic film director, screenwriter and producer, Erika Lust herself, is the answer to all your lockdown dreams and hopes.
One of the best feelings (or worst if you expected someone there with you, it truly depends on the situation) is getting comfortable in your bed alone, fully knowing you’re about to enjoy a relaxing solo session, if you know what I mean. But getting in the mood for it can sometimes be tricky. Fear no more, Be a Hero is probably the hottest movie you could watch while literally enjoying yourself. Short and sweet, it’ll get you off in no time.
Sometimes, I feel like I’m on the hunt for something more subliminal—something that will arouse me in every sense of the term; physically, for sure, but also mentally. The Gardener depicts hot, neon-lit sweaty people having suffocatingly erotic fun in what looks like a muggy jungle. If you’ve always had a thing for succulents and cacti, then you’re in for a treat.
As much fun as Tinder can be at first, the thrill of the dating app often fades away only to be quickly replaced by constant left swiping and unopened DMs filled with cringey one-liners. That’s usually when people know the thrill is gone and it’s time for them to go look somewhere else—anywhere Else really. Well, Tinder Taxi is the story of a woman who, after going through that same process, finds her new interest in the front seat of a taxi. Maybe that sounds cliché but trust me, it’s just pure hotness.
Can’t wait to go through the whole list before testing Else Cinema? We feel you, no judgement here! Click here to enjoy your one-month free subscription on Else Cinema. Don’t thank us babes, just enjoy!
Remember the first kiss that Oliver and Elio share in Call Me By Your Name? Although Oliver doesn’t let him finish, Elio sneaks in a little hand action on a grassy riverbank and the fact that this scene never went further left so many of us frustrated for days. That’s where The Outdoor Compilation comes in. From a warm summer’s day taking place in the 70s to a hike that turned into another sweaty activity, the one-hour-long compilation doesn’t miss a beat. If you’ve always had a little self-display fantasy out in the open air, The Outdoor Compilation is the one for you.
Ever heard of a gripping psychological thriller with steamy erotica that will keep you hooked until the very end? Me either, until now. Made of different episodes put together into one movie, Perspective follows a couple in the final days of their marriage and shows the real impact that emotion plays in relationships. Each episode delves into the complexity of a modern relationship and depicts both partners’ perspective, creating a captivating yet sexy cinematography. What more could you ask for?
Let’s mention dirty talk while we’re at it, how could we not? While it can sometimes be the sexiest thing ever, dirty talk can often scare people away, which is a shame. Want to reignite your love for dirty talk? Just watch A Talk Too Dirty, which tells the story of a trendy couple celebrating their anniversary on a romantic trip to Barcelona. One thing leading to another, they decide to spice things up by playing a little game and end up experimenting with dirty talk. Oohlala!
To all my lovey-dovey peeps out there, don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you. If dirty talk is not your bag, Else Cinema has a full category devoted to the lovey-dovey genre, which is basically a softer, more sensual approach to erotica. My favourite one, My Moaning Neighbor tells the story of a man trying to work from home and struggling to concentrate because his neighbour makes sure to be really loud every time she sleeps with someone.
Armed with a noisy hoover and a compilation of barking dogs, the man finally makes himself heard by his neighbour who ends up knocking on his door. You guessed it, the fight turns into a make out session and more. If your date is not getting the signals you’ve been sending them since you both got back to your place, trust me, this will do the trick.
Have you pretty much seen it all, tried it all? Then, The Ultimate Kink will probably be the movie that will push you to look further. In it, a female couple who have clearly tried it all realise that they’ve missed one last thing: a man. I won’t ruin the fun by revealing too much but let’s just say the guest quickly realises he’s not playing with beginners…
Are you as busy as everyone seems to constantly be? Or perhaps you simply don’t have the attention span needed to watch a one-hour-long—what am I saying—a 20-minute-long movie? I feel you, and I’ve got your back. Honeydew is sexy, sweet and short. 6 minutes long, this bite-sized movie focuses on honey and its many benefits once spread on something other than a piece of toast.
Did you find one movie made for you? Even better, did you find more than one? Well, get comfy, take everything off and click here to enjoy your one-month free subscription on Else Cinema. It’s on us!