There’s no shame in enjoying a bit of quality trash TV from time to time—as paradoxical as it sounds. I’m the first one to admit this, and most definitely the first one to enjoy said trash TV. Having previously spent—though some might say ‘wasted’—a considerable amount of hours watching and dissecting the likes of Love Island and The Kardashians, it’s quite impressive that, up until now, one of the UK’s most popular reality series was left unscathed by the power of my pen. Or the power of my bitten nails steadfastly hitting my computer’s keyboard, you get the picture.
Enter Made in Chelsea (MIC), Channel 4’s “eye-opening reality series that follows the lives and loves of the socially elite 20-somethings who live in some of London’s most exclusive postcodes,” aka the capital’s Kensington and Chelsea borough. With its first episode airing in 2011 and countless spin-offs since then, it’s no surprise that the MIC franchise has been the springboard to many of its cast’s famous status. Being from incredibly affluent families also helps, I guess.
Yet somehow, while problematic figures often go hand in hand with this type of TV format, there seems to be one specific MIC cast member who always ends up grabbing viewers’ attention—and not only for good reasons. Introducing half-French Chelsea boy Miles Nazaire, who joined the series back in 2018 and has since “established himself as a Made in Chelsea fave,” according to Grazia.
With 306,000 followers on Instagram, 185,000 on TikTok and a mere 3,600 subscribers on his YouTube channel Extra Miles, you might be wondering why we’re here talking about this 26-year-old thirst trap-addicted cretin instead of celebrating more successful MIC characters like Jamie Laing and his soon-to-be-wife Sophie Habboo.
The short answer is: because there’s no one from the never-ending show who is quite as cringe as Nazaire—and also because there’s never a bad time for going after rich privileged men, am I right?
First off, if you look at the influencer’s profile pictures on his three main social media accounts, out of three, two feature him shirtless, flexing his muscles, probably to make sure that we can see them even when considering how tiny these icons are.
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Secondly, the man’s absolutely obsessed with himself—his shirtless tendencies only help support this claim further. According to The Tab, in one particular video posted on his TikTok, Nazaire used an audio that says “when I look in the mirror, I get a little bit turned on.” Blargh, just blargh.
On his video series/podcast titled Ask Miles Anything—which, let’s be honest, isn’t a podcast at all, just Nazaire filming short Q&A videos while speaking into a mic and then posting them on his social channels—the influencer has covered the three main areas that seem to dictate his whole life: gossip, fitness, and anything dating or sex-related.
The series’ first episode pretty much covered the first two, while a second one focused on the latter. And boy oh boy did we get an insight into Nazaire’s sexual preferences. In the first clip, he discussed the fact that he likes it rough in the sack. In a second video, he went on to share that he often finds himself “in very extraordinary situations where there were more than one sexual partner.”
“I don’t know why I keep finding myself in these situations but I’m just gonna go with it and enjoy it,” Nazaire finished the short and substance-lacking TikTok. In a third video, he discussed how much he enjoys going down on female partners.
In yet another extract of his sex-focused Q&A, Nazaire talked about an instance when a girl asked him, “Do you like that, daddy?” It’s safe to assume that this happened while he was having sexual intercourse with a female-identifying individual. He then mentioned another instance when a Spanish-speaking girl said “Aye, papi,” and proceeded to finish the clip at that. Supposedly, this is meant to leave his viewers flustered and wanting more..?
Last but certainly not least in this pointless series of ick-inducing videos is the most recent one, where Nazaire discussed his pull-out game—the act (with no condom on) whereby a man withdraws from a woman just as he’s about to ejaculate, in order to prevent pregnancy.
“Of course you’ve got to practice safe sex but I also must admit, pull-out game is on point,” he stated. In the comments section, users shared how they felt about this information most of us never asked for in the first place. “Oh okay. This is what the ick is,” wrote one now-traumatised individual.
“Why are we hearing any of this 🥴,” asked a second one while another noted, “I don’t understand the aim of these videos.” And that’s exactly the main issue we have at hand—not only is Nazaire’s content futile, it promotes unhealthy views of what sexual relationships should be.
Let’s just be clear on one thing here: you can’t both practice safe sex and have an on-point pull-out game, babe. So do us all a favour and keep your manspreading and bullsh*t sex advice off our TikTok FYPs, merci.