Trump launches Bible as election newcomer Literally Anybody Else enters the presidential race

By Abby Amoakuh

Published Mar 28, 2024 at 01:48 PM

Reading time: 3 minutes

It’s that time again. Welcome back to our weekly recap of the latest news related to the 2024 US presidential election. Did you miss us? Because we missed you and used the past couple of days to prepare a new roundup of election essentials for you. This week, we’re focusing on Donald Trump’s newest business venture, as well as an unexpected new candidate in the US presidential race. Let’s dig in!

Donald Trump launches new religious enterprise following financial struggles

Trump has delved into many business ventures over the years. These include casinos, golf courts, Manhattan real estate, social media platforms, steaks, vodka, for-profit education, sneakers and now—wait for it–Bibles.

Trump’s new God Bless the USA Bible is priced at the completely reasonable cost of $59.99 (shipping and tax not included). It contains a King James Bible and a handwritten version of the chorus of singer-songwriter Lee Greenwood’s song, plus copies of the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, and the Pledge of Allegiance. To be fair, it’s kind of a bargain.

In a video message, the former president, who has frequently compared himself to Jesus Christ in the past, endorsed the book’s blend of theology with foundational American political documents.

The electoral candidate has framed the mix as central to his longtime campaign slogan ‘Make America Great Again’. It should be noted here that the US was historically credited with being the first explicitly secular nation, not only in the West but in the entire world. Secularism refers to the separation of church and state. But you know, Trump’s never been one to shy away from some serious rule-breaking.

“Religion and Christianity are the biggest things missing from this country,” the former president said. “We must make America pray again. As we lead into Good Friday and Easter, I encourage you to get a copy of the God Bless The USA Bible.”

According to the vendor website, the Bible features “easy-to-read, large print” and the main selling point is, hold your breath, that it can be picked up and moved around.

Amid multiple legal battles, prayer does indeed seem like the only explanation for a recent court ruling that slashed a $454 million bond he owed down to $175 million seemingly overnight.

The penalty was awarded after a New York judge found that Trump and his companies had engaged in years-long schemes to deceive banks and other lenders with falsified financial statements in which he inflated his wealth and the value of his assets.

According to a Forbes estimate, Trump is worth about $2.6 billion and he stated in 2023 that he had $400 million in liquid assets, making the $454 million judgment not only expensive but a potential bankruptcy case. It could force him to sell many of his real estate assets like his beloved Trump Tower in New York City.

Thus, the ex-president is confronting a significant financial squeeze as his legal fees keep piling up with multiple criminal cases pending against him.

That being said, the New York businessman’s firm Trump Media did recently merge with cash shell Digital World Acquisition Corporation into the Trump Media & Technology Group. The company launched on the Nasdaq Stock Market this week, with shares closing 16 per cent higher, giving the company a market capitalisation of nearly $8 billion. 

The merger and Nasdaq launch increased Trump’s net worth by billions (his stake in the firm is worth roughly $4.6 billion on paper), proving once again that white men only fall upwards.

Some critics have noted that the company’s valuation is incredibly high, with its shareholders being of the meme-stock variety, meaning that they consist of armies of amateur investors, who tend to trade more on emotion than fundamentals.

Still, the media stock is currently basking in an exceptional level of success, offering Trump a new source of funding for his legal woes.

However, under the current terms of the deal, Trump needs to wait at least six months to sell his shares in the new entity.

Texas man changes name to ‘Literally Anybody Else’ to enter the presidential race

Texas teacher Dustin Ebey has legally changed his name to ‘Literally Anybody Else’ and is collecting signatures to run for president as an independent candidate.

The 35-year-old is currently trying to complete his task of collecting 113,151 signatures by 13 May to make it on the ballot.

The army veteran, who has described himself as a centrist, told his local TV station WFAA that the judge was not amused with his name request but affirmed that he was not a joker or delusional.

“I really want there to be an outlet for folks like me who are just so fed up with this constant power grab between two parties that has no benefit for the common person,” he said.

“People are voting for the lesser of two evils, not someone they actually believe in or support. People should have the option to vote for someone who resembles and represents them, not the lesser of two evils. I reject that.”

And that’s a wrap on this week. See you soon!

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