Dating history: Mixed bag
Looking for: Part-time gym lad, part-time golden retriever
So, I met this boy on Hinge. I thought he was quite good-looking—you know, ticked the first impression boxes. We met at Liverpool Street Station in East London and I had been quite reserved over text to begin with because I hate it when you chat so much online that when you finally meet you end up standing there like two lemons trying to come up with things to say.
He hadn’t made any effort to book anything. Also, the station was right next to his house, how convenient? But, I tried to shake this initial hesitation off. He turns up at the station and automatically, I just wasn’t massively feeling a sexual attraction but, either way, I still wanted to try things out and see if we had a connection.
At this point in my life I also just really needed to throw myself back into the dating game so I was keen to be a bit less rigid than I may have been in the past.
We went to Eataly, only a stone’s throw away from the station, so not exactly that much effort was put in. He ordered me an Aperol Spritz (ideal) and for the first hour it was going okay, general chit chat, first date kinda stuff.
Then we had a couple more drinks, I was a little tipsy by this point, and all of a sudden, things started to go downhill.
He invited me back to his house to “cook dinner” and because I wasn’t massively into him I decided to pass and say no. Almost immediately after, he blurted out “ok, well, what are you looking for then?”
A little taken aback, I replied saying that if I meet someone and it’s just sex that’s fine but if we get on well I’m also looking to get to know people in a deeper way. And then, he begins telling me what he’s looking for.
Disclaimer: There was nothing wrong with him having his own ideas of what he wanted his future partner to look like, it was the blatant sexism and misogyny that followed that I had an issue with.
He starts by telling me that the next person he plans on dating will need to be the woman that will become his wife. He states that this person will help him build his empire, move with him wherever he goes and raise his children. Mind you, he also goes on to insist that his kids will be superhuman.
And then, the tears begin to pour out. He goes on and on about how being a mum is the most important job in the world and how girls nowadays think that being a stay-at-home mum is so lame and how much of a shame that is. And at this point, I’m just sitting there thinking “that’s completely valid and fine if that’s what you want out of life, but that’s just not for me.”
Nevertheless, another set of tears begin to fall down his cheeks and so out of interest, I ask him if he’d ever consider being a stay-at-home dad. He replies, “That’s just not my skill set.” When I ask him what his skill set is exactly, he informs me that he is primed to make money and that’s just the way life works.
He practically laughs his head off when I mention how I’m very focused on having a career and so I don’t even mention that I’m not even considering having kids in the future.
Either way, he finishes his speech, looks up to meet my eyeline and simply asks: “You’re going to walk out in a second aren’t you?” And that’s just what I did. I know it might seem obvious, but I’m still not 100% sure whether or not I was too harsh on him. He’s messaged me a few times on Hinge since but I haven’t yet responded. Do I want to pursue a guy who’s clearly wanting to live a very different life to me?
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