Oral sex, blow jobs, head, whatever you want to call it, fellatio, there are as many names as there are techniques to doing it, and I’m going to tell you exactly what I wish I knew about blow jobs before I wrapped my innocent mouth around someone else’s genitals for the first time. Before I start, there is no right or wrong way, there is just your way—it’s whatever you’re comfortable with. Ready? Here’s what you might want to know.

First of all, how oral sex came about to start with doesn’t really matter much after you’ve had your first sexual encounter, but still, the concept of putting someone’s private parts in your mouth may seem quite awful, but in fact, it’s really not. However, there are certain aspects of blow jobbing that I’d like to talk about, for the curiosity of the general public.

This is a number one point on the matter, because I’m right (even if only about this one thing), you don’t. If a guy asks you to give him a blow job, and you’re just not feeling it, if you don’t like it, or you’re scared, say no. Nuh uh. Nope. That’ll be a negative, dude. If they try to persuade you? That’s a red flag baby, dump’em. On that note though, don’t you go forcing anyone down on your own hoohaa if they don’t want to, either.

A common misconception of blow jobbing techniques. A somewhat anecdotal ‘hack’ that by going deeper into what is essentially the back of our necks, is somehow better? Actually, expect mega gagging and to be eyeing the room out for a corner to barf in. Gagging sucks, excuse the pun, but it does.

That being said, the term ‘deep throating’ didn’t get pulled out of thin air, and it can potentially be quite a turn on because it feels nicer for the penis involved—the reason for this being that by reaching the back of your throat you also reach an area of nerves that produces excess saliva. The message from those nerves will also reach your brain—hello teary eyes. All in all though, gagging and soft choking may be fun to a certain extent, if you’re into that… but a hard pummelling of the tender skinned throat and gag reflex is simply not the one.

Yup, you heard that right. Some people don’t like being given head, just like some people don’t like giving it. Either they simply don’t like the feel of it and the close proximity of someone’s teeth or face to their dicks, or, they feel the pressure to perform. Stage fright is a very common thing for all of us, in some way or another.

The media makes it seem like blow jobs are the ultimate pleasure station, but in reality, oral sex is just not enough for some guys to get over the peak. Yes, it might feel great and they may very well enjoy it, but there’s so much time that an open jaw can take, so if they say to you “I rarely finish this way” don’t take it personally. Sometimes, they’ll take matters into their own hands and get it done in front of you. This is also not an insult, team effort y’all.

There’s a time and a place for kneeling blow jobs, but there’s also a time and place to be comfortable, that place is nearly all the time. That feeling of pins and needles in the ol’knee cap is not sexy, it’s actually quite distracting. Change it up, position yourself to what feels right, like I said, it’s a team effort. Ever tried a 69? Just saying.

Some cocky fuckboys out there may beg to differ, but fuck them, the only ‘bad’ thing you can do pre-blow job, is underestimate your own abilities. If you have a mouth, and your partner has a dick, you already have all the tools you need right there. Talk to each other too, ask what they like and what they don’t like, and don’t be afraid to run your mouth over what surrounds the penis, balls included. You’re welcome.

Play safe, darlings!