I never expected maths to be something I would ever ever enjoy. In fact, I pretty much spent my entire adolescence complaining about the subject and insisting that the calculator app on my phone was really all I needed to navigate the real world. That being said, there’s one particular New Zealand radio show whose approach to maths is forcing me to rethink my entire perspective.
FVHZM is a daily morning radio show hosted by three people: Fletch, Vaughan, and Hayley. The trio are definitely most well-known for their pretty iconic recurring series ‘Girl Math’—it even has a jingle.
Now, if you aren’t familiar with girl math, let me explain. 2023 is the year of women loving themselves, making unhinged decisions, spending irresponsibly, and just overall living their best lives. So, every now and again we need to rely on each other to justify particular purchases that on the surface might not appear to be that wise. Look, women supporting women is an important way of life.
So, every couple days the FVHZM crew will read out a letter from a listener who’s seeking some girl math advice. And in turn, the on-air fabulous female radio hosts will then expertly justify and defend any purchase that might be up for debate.
One of my favourites recently involved a woman writing in after spending $1000 on a Deadly Ponies Mr Molten Tote bag aka a very boujee New Zealand-based luxury handbag brand.
Immediately the women jumped into action. Top girl maths aficionado Hayley kicked things off sharing: “Here’s the maths, I have a Deadly Ponies handbag. I’ve had it for five years, so now we’re at $200 a year, you’re less than a $1 a day.” Quickly, a guest presenter and fellow ally noted: “How many ways can you use a tote, the supermarket, shopping, going away bag, airplane bag. Divide that by four, it’s $250 per bag, and we’ve got four designer bags there.”
While there might not be complete arithmetic science to the girl’s calculations, you can’t deny that they make a pretty solid case in defence of their client.
Another favourite definitely has to include one particular episode which featured a live on-air guest calling in to seek some girl math help. She shared that she wanted to buy a brand new Ruby dress from its latest collection—another hella boujee clothing brand based in NZ.
Straight away Hayley leaps into the equation: “Oh my gosh. She’s going to wear it three times, this is not a $330 dress, it’s $110. It’s basically free.” Next thing we know, the producers are jumping in to back up the facts: “These dresses will have a resale value, there is a market for this. If she wears it three times at $110 a wear, she can definitely resell this after those three wears for more than $110.
So, as Hayley concludes: “Even if she sold this, this is $330, $110 per wear, even if she sold this for $110 one of those wears is now free, she’s wearing a free dress.” You can’t argue with the facts people.
Girl maths, girl dinner, girl lunch, I mean we’re living in the golden era of girl content, and I couldn’t be more delighted about it. Our Barbie era might be coming to a close, but where there’s a problem to be solved, there’ll always be a woman to solve it. Plus, you might get a ‘free’ dress out of it.