The women in male fields TikTok trend is now being used by men to air their own dating grievances
Over the last week, we’ve seen TikTok explode with a hot, new ladies-first trend: parodying toxic male behaviour under the ‘women in male fields’ hashtag. The hashtag, used to air collective grievances and give voice to the frustration of being a woman in today’s dating economy, is now sitting at over 170,000 posts strong, highlighting just how relevant—and cathartic—this conversation is for the girlies. But, naturally, men couldn’t let women have the last laugh… Typical.
Instead, the ‘men in women’s fields’ or ‘men in female fields’ hashtag is gaining traction, as a reactionary response to being scolded and ridiculed online. Let’s unpack this viral online debate.
What is the ‘men in women’s fields’ trend?
With this new hashtag, men are calling out the rude, inappropriate, or misleading behaviour they have been subjected to in the course of their dating history. And while some posts are a playful reversal of the trend, others are more angered and serious, suggesting that the trend has struck a nerve among the opposite sex.
On the lighter side, we came across statements such as “Made her finish first #meninwomensfields,” and “Asked me if her ass was fat so I said ‘No, it’s the perfect size, I don’t even like the big ones, the big ones hurt’.”
A couple of other fan favourites include: “She took longer to respond to my text, so I set a timer to take just as long to respond,” as well as: “She asked me what was wrong and I said ‘nothing’ although I’m clearly upset.” Finally, we have the classic: “Told her I feel lightheaded and nauseous, so she asked me if I had anything to eat today and I said ‘no’.”
@veetiossi ♬ Anaconda - Nicki Minaj
@...twill like u should know 🙄 #fyp #funny #trending #relationships #foryoupage
♬ Anaconda - Nicki Minaj
@joaocoronel_ “the big ones hurt” 😭 #meninwomenfields
♬ Anaconda - Nicki Minaj
On the slightly darker side of men’s critique, we find complaints such as: “Caught me cheating so I cried and blamed my zodiac sign,” “She mentioned something that’s bothering her, so I hit her with “Stop being insecure and controlling’,” or “Asked me to open up emotionally, and when I did, she said, ‘That’s a lot to unpack’.”
And then there are statements like: “Asked me how much money I made on the first date, then said ‘Oh… that’s okay’,” “Told me I remind her of her ex and then got mad when I didn’t think that was a compliment,” “Told me to block a girl but I responded ‘No, she’s nice and I don’t want to be mean’,” and “Tried to pick a fight with her because my day was bad, but she was cool, which made me even more mad.”
@thejelanireid ion wanna b mean fr fr #meninfemalefields #meninwomenfields #lol #fyp #jokes
♬ Original Sound - Unknown
@iccefox Yall won w this trend 😭😭
♬ Anaconda - Nicki Minaj
These prompts clearly communicate that men also have a laundry list of injuries they incurred through inappropriate and sometimes toxic female behaviour.
Some of these men are jumping in on the fun of publicly calling out these kinds of cycles, while others bemoan the fact that they are always characterised as the source of toxicity and rarely receive attention when they are on the receiving end of it.
And then there are some men, of course, who are just plainly misogynistic, calling women out for a supposed ‘victim-complex’ and what they perceive as ‘men-bashing.’
@booooosbomboss Not today #foryourpage #fyp #byzcxa #videoviral
♬ Anaconda - Nicki Minaj
Naturally, the reactions to men joining in on the trend, with almost 10,000 associated posts as I’m writing this, have been mixed. The majority of women perceive it as an intrusion on a trend that they started to complain about toxic masculinity and challenge it within a safe online forum.
@darkspiders ♬ Anaconda - Nicki Minaj
@yazpirez 🥷🏾 always ruin everything.. #womaninmenfield #trendingtiktok #contentcreator #forupage #ilovemyself #yazpirez
♬ original sound - Yáz
@emma.mku like damn we cant hv NUFFIN
♬ Nikki minach - 𝕳𝖔𝖔𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖊
Others argue that a lot of the behaviour men are complaining about is gender-neutral and thus not properly justifying a separate hashtag for men.
@leaahward #meninwomenfields #womeninmenfield
♬ Anaconda - Nicki Minaj
What men intend to do with their hashtag starkly differs: some are just looking to start a fight, while others are aiming to spark a larger conversation about how dating toxicity isn’t exclusive to one gender.
Whether women want to take the bait and engage in that conversation—or simply ignore and ridicule—is entirely up to us. The ball is in our court, ladies, and let’s be real, we’ve never been shy about making the final play.
