Have you ever seen a viral tweet of a celebrity doing the rounds on social media and had to double take at the outlandish claims they were reportedly making? There’s a very good chance you might have fallen victim to the notorious Twitter account Fake Showbiz News. Hey, at least they’re transparent about it. As per Elon Musk’s Twitter takeover, the account self describes as a “clearly labelled parody account.”

The page, which owes its success to the very tame and silly parodying of celebrities as well as boasting an impressive 158,900 thousand followers, seems to have a thing for Ellie Goulding. The chart-topping 36-year-old is often at the mercy of the notorious account, being painted as a naive but incredibly well-meaning Brit.

These posts had us in tears, so here’s some of our favourites from Fake Showbiz News’ Goulding obsession. May it never go away.

In a land a long long time ago (aka, 2018), bizarre Ellie Goulding tweets began to show up on the parody account, thus giving birth to the singer’s naive persona. It was not only a happy respite from the usual social media algorithm, but also a hilarious take on someone as successful and acclaimed as Goulding.

Ellie Goulding says she can’t believe there are more than 800 missing people in the UK.

“Where the fuck are they all?” she said pic.twitter.com/zOTtDm5sEf

— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) August 8, 2018

‘Who on Earth needs to be in Copenhagen one day, and Tokyo the next?’ wonders the celebrity. We’re with you Ellie. It’s just excessive, isn’t it?

Ellie Goulding expresses disbelief that planes regularly fly from Copenhagen to Tokyo.

“What sort of crazy scenario would make you need to be in Copenhagen one day and then in Tokyo the next?” she said pic.twitter.com/sjCVcwHO2Y

— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) November 2, 2018

A personal favourite of ours, this killer tweet has the Calvin Harris collaborator bemused by gravity and the Earth’s rotations. In her defence, it is quite confusing, so we forgive you fake Goulding—how we’re not constantly clattering into stuff is a genuine mystery.

Ellie Goulding admits she’s having a hard time accepting Earth is whizzing through space at 67,000mph.

“Surely we’d be constantly clattering into stuff?” she enquired pic.twitter.com/NBSyiXkZ8Q

— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) January 22, 2023

We’ve all been stuck in security at the airport, desperate to get through, thinking “this is pointless, why would anyone want to blow up a 4 am flight from London to Benidorm?” Well, worry not, because fake Goulding was thinking the exact same thing.

Ellie Goulding says it’s ridiculous she still has to go through security at airports.

“Why would I be a terrorist?” she said pic.twitter.com/5fKQt6lQW8

— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) October 1, 2019

I mean the ‘Lights’ singer has a point here. 14 years? Come on guys.

Ellie Goulding says she can’t believe it took 14 years to build the Sydney Opera House.

“It’s nice but it shouldn’t have taken that long,” she said pic.twitter.com/kVNbSh5Edb

— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) October 10, 2022

This one really ruined us. It’s the epitome of the character and we’re so here for it.

Ellie Goulding admits she never realised the buzzing sound made by bees was caused by the rapid flapping of their wings.

“I just thought they were saying buzz,” she told reporters pic.twitter.com/idWYSqyWPt

— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) November 19, 2020

Grounded flights during the COVID-19 pandemic led fake Goulding to this brain wave. The spaces can double as a shelter and maybe the “best behaved ones” can sit business. Tiny bit problematic but hey, she means well.

Ellie Goulding suggests grounded passenger planes could be used as homeless shelters over the next few months.

“The best behaved ones could go in business class,” she said pic.twitter.com/ixIm42H6qb

— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) May 16, 2020

Whether it’s Goulding, Tom Holland, Marvin Humes from JLS, or some other celebrity, Fake Showbiz News always delivers on strange personas and big laughs.

Tom Holland says he didn’t get angry when another driver did a stupid thing earlier - which means he’s now allowed to do one stupid thing without anyone beeping him pic.twitter.com/Xj8q1Qst43

— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) April 12, 2023

We love how quintessentially British the humour is. Keep em coming, because the internet is obsessed with Fake Showbiz News consistency and wit with its hilarious ideas, and bizarre storylines.

i love the fake showbiz news account sticking to certain storylines, like rihanna's obsession with putting the bins out, and attributing all the unhinged quotes to ellie goulding

— alex (@alexevans_14) April 6, 2023