That’s it boys, you officially don’t have any excuse to not wear protection when having intercourse with someone. Until now, the go-to excuse for men around the world was to say that they’re simply “too big to wear them.” Others like to play the victim and say that condoms hurt them or are uncomfortable. If you’re a woman, you’ve definitely heard these poor justifications before, and hopefully, you promptly bid your latest match goodbye.
Well, next time you have to deal with a man trying to get out of wearing a condom—and trust me, you will go through it again—here’s what you should show him:
TikTok user Elle Muirhead recently shared the above video on the social media app where she is filming an employee who’s wrapping a condom around her whole leg, stretching it out past her knee with ease. With over 15.8 million views and counting, it’s safe to say that Muirhead’s demonstration made an impact online.
In the comments section, most users are seen agreeing with the woman who works in an adult shop. “Dude exactly. They just don’t wanna wear one so they lie,” one wrote. “It was very difficult not to laugh at men that said this when I worked at an adult store,” another shared. Others appreciated Muirhead’s ingenuity, with someone commenting: “You just gave a drag queen ✨IDEAS✨.”
In a follow-up video posted after the first one went viral, the TikToker explained that she and other employees had just grabbed the first unlubricated condom they saw and not a specific brand.
Research titled Average-Size Erect Penis: Fiction, Fact, and the Need for Counseling, published in PubMed, notes that most males believe the average length of an erect penis is around 15.2 centimetres (6 inches). In reality—surprise, surprise—the average is much smaller. While sizes vary widely, the average length is said to be between 12.9 and 13.97 centimetres (which is between 5.1 and 5.5 inches), and most likely towards the smaller end of this scale.
Ironically, standard condoms are typically 6.7 to 8.3 inches long, which means that more often than not, men who pretend they need a larger size are either lying or fooling themselves. In other words, just stick to the regular size, yeah?
Before we get into the hot deets—literally—I’d like to strongly highlight the fact that, as far as I could snoop online, this story has not yet been fully confirmed from either side and the Instagram model is yet to be named. That being said, it does look like this rumour has some truth in it. Let me explain.
On Monday 10 January, Instagram page @TooMuchHotTea broke the story of how a mysterious Instagram model had threatened to sue the Canadian rapper Drake for putting hot sauce into his condom. Now, I can understand why this previous sentence might seem confusing at first. You’re probably thinking, ‘what the heck is this about?’.
According to the account, the model and Drake hit it off on Instagram where they started DMing each other—we’re not sure who approached who first. Both eventually met up at a party and later went back to the rapper’s hotel room to smoke some weed and, well, do the deed. Although Drizzy is known for showing signs of predatory behaviour when it comes to teen women, in this instance, it is said that he was very clear about ensuring that their ‘encounter’ was a consensual one.
Too Much Hot Tea went on to explain that prior to their intercourse, the rapper entered his bathroom to put a condom on. After both were done, he went back to the bathroom to throw the used protection in the bin. That’s where things get spicy—again, literally.
The model reportedly pretended like she needed to use the bathroom too in order to find the discarded condom and pour its contents into her. If you’re not sure why she would do that, it’s easy to assume that she was planning on getting pregnant from the ‘Hotline Bling’ singer.
As soon as she did that however, she immediately experienced a burning sensation and started to scream, causing Drake to run back to the bathroom to see what was going on. He then allegedly told the model that he poured hot sauce from a packet into the condom to kill his sperm, should someone try to get pregnant from him.
The Instagram post that started the whole rumour also contained further details about the rapper’s sexual exploits and what his ding-dong looks like.
On Tuesday, Drake seemingly addressed the tabasco fiasco rumour in an Instagram post of his own where the caption read, “You can have your 15 minutes of fame…I’ll take the other 23 hours and 45 mins”—insinuating that his alleged sexual partner was hungry for her 15 minutes of fame.
As crazy as this story sounds, the rapper has previously admitted to the lengths he goes to ensure that no one tries to take advantage of him in the bedroom. On Brent Faiyaz’s song ‘Wasting Time’ Drake can be heard rapping, “Gold medalist, flushed the Magnums just so they not collectin’ my specimens, damn.”
I don’t know about you, but while I patiently wait to see whether this rumour further develops, I’m really enjoying the memes out there…