Why are celebrities now choosing to expose their toxic partners online?

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Published Jul 23, 2023 at 09:00 AM

Reading time: 5 minutes

Email Facebook WhatsApp X Flipboard

Copy Link

Image by SCREENSHOT

In the age of social media, a captivating and controversial trend has emerged—celebrities publicly sharing private text messages from their partners. This phenomenon has caught the public’s attention, who don’t seem to be able to tear their eyes away from voyeuristic windows into celebrities’ personal lives. This has, in turn, raised questions surrounding the motivations behind these revelations, their impact on our expectations of privacy, and the potential consequences for the individuals and relationships involved.

We’ve seen it in the cases of celebrities like Keke Palmer, Bebe Rexha and even Jonah Hill. So, what are the implications of the shocking revelation that celebrities have been suffering eye-roll-inducing texts from their toxic exes just like the rest of us? And what are the consequences of exposing one’s private life online in so much detail?

It’s essential first to consider the ethics of revealing private texts online, especially for celebrities. It can be a bold move in the pursuit of validation and the exposure of mistreatment. In many cases, it provides a platform for individuals to regain power and shed light on the issues beneath the surface, an opportunity that is not often afforded to those in the spotlight who are trying to maintain a positive appearance while still avoiding the eye of tabloids. It could be argued that this trend initiates essential conversations about consent, respect, and emotional well-being within relationships.

However, it’s also important to note the potential pitfalls of this practice. Sharing private messages without consent can lead to misinterpretation and distortion of narratives, fostering a culture of possible online bullying. Most of all, you risk undermining trust within relationships. The boundaries of privacy become blurred, and conflicts that arise from public exposure can cause irreparable damage.

Our first case study into the oh-so-important question of why celebrities are now turning on their beaus after mishaps and unpleasantries takes a look at actress, and singer Keke Palmer and her boyfriend Darius Jackson. A tweet showcasing Jackson’s disapproval of Palmer’s revealing outfit choice while attending an Usher concert saw an exchange between the pair, in plain view of social media’s prying eyes.

In a since-deleted tweet, Jackson is seen complaining to the world: “It’s the outfit though… you a mom.” First of all, who is he to tell her how to dress? And secondly, it’s bizarre to see him take to Twitter to complain rather than just address the issue privately with Palmer.

The tweets led Palmer to clap back like the quick-witted queen she is, responding to Darius’ unwarranted fashion critique with a hilarious comeback, saying she wished she’d “taken more pictures.”

While this particular incident may come across more lighthearted it raises important questions about the impact of social media on relationships and the potential breach of privacy that occurs when we decide to battle it out on the internet. It becomes increasingly challenging to distinguish between what is meant for public consumption and what should remain private.

The repercussions of such public exchanges can be significant. The pair have unfollowed each other on socials, and with everyone involved, suddenly it’s unclear as to how serious the incident was. When judgement, criticism, and unwanted opinions from entitled strangers the actual altercation begins to lose weight in the vacuum of endless social media space.

Singer-songwriter Bebe Rexha decided to give her followers an intimate glimpse into her personal life by sharing a text message exchange with her boyfriend, Keyan Safyari. The text, which was posted to the artists’ Instagram story, revealed a moment of vulnerability and emotional turmoil as Keyan made insensitive comments about Rexha’s weight during their conversation.

In this unguarded moment, Rexha exposed the raw and sensitive nature of body image issues that many individuals, particularly women, face in today’s society. By sharing this private exchange, Bebe intentionally brought to light the pressures and expectations placed upon individuals in the public eye. While a breach of trust with her partner, it sparked a crucial conversation surrounding the impact of societal beauty standards and the emotional toll they can take on a person’s well-being.

Safyari’s text, though seemingly well-intentioned, demonstrated the fine line between constructive criticism and hurtful remarks. While he expressed his love and care for Bebe, his choice of words betrayed a deep-rooted bias against her changing appearance.

Users online were quick to point out the difficulty of exposing your partner like this, as the texts from Safyari also revealed that Rexha may be complicit herself in making comments about weight where Safyari types: “I gain three pounds and you call me chubs and fat.” Context is key, and once you take a text message to the mercy of the internet, all of the personal nuances that a private relationship provides suddenly vanish.

Similarly, on 7 and 8 July, leaked text messages between actor Jonah Hill and his ex-girlfriend professional surfer Sarah Brady sparked a divisive internet conversation. Among the messages, netizens were shocked to see Hill explaining to Brady the “boundaries for romantic partnerships.” Rules included not posting pictures of herself in a bathing suit online, not surfing with men, not modelling, or “having friendships with women who are in unstable places.”

Now, while I personally think that Brady’s decision to share those text messages, was a bold move, and one that we should respect and appreciate—particularly if it could help someone who feels like they might be in an abusive or controlling relationship. However, some individuals online condemned the move and went as far as to say that Hill should be commended for offering a respectful communication of boundaries… Twitter, am I right?

Others have also questioned Brady’s decision to speak out, arguing that it’s not appropriate to share private messages online about the actor.

Ultimately, these incidents involving both Rexha and Hill remind us of the complexities of personal relationships, the impact of societal pressures, and the consequences of sharing private moments in a public sphere.

However, it’s not all doom and gloom. It’s also important to note that the fact that we are discussing these incidents and questioning the appropriateness of publicising private conversations is a sign that society is becoming more aware of the potential pitfalls of oversharing on social media.

Recently, an incident involving influencer Jackie La Bonita at a baseball game went viral on TikTok and Twitter. She posted a now-deleted video of two women in the background making fun of her, which sparked widespread outrage. The video received millions of views and comments, with even Cardi B retweeting it: “I would have put that ring to use” and “Yeah ain’t nobody gon survive if that shit happened to me.”

This then led to an escalated series of events, involving doxxing, witch hunts, and overall sinister behaviour—phone numbers and addresses were even leaked. Things got so bad that the two girls ultimately ended up feeling the need to post a video statement pleading with the online mob to leave them alone.

This example illustrates how a mere 50-second clip can lead to harm and endanger the lives of individuals. Such clips can be taken out of context or manipulated to suit a specific narrative, resulting in misinterpretations and unnecessary drama that further escalates the situation. It underscores the importance of considering the full story before making judgments or taking drastic actions based on limited information.

This trend of online oversharing can also fuel a culture of shaming and vengefulness, triggering a mob psychology phenomenon where thousands of internet users single out specific individuals for their opinions or actions.

Before you hit the “post” button on your most intimate moments, take a moment to think twice. Let’s be smart about what we share online and remember that once it’s out there, it can never be permanently deleted.