The only thing contestants can find on Perfect Match is sexism, abuse and homophobia

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Published Jun 28, 2024 at 09:00 AM

Reading time: 2 minutes

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Image courtesy of Netflix

Watching season 2 of Netflix’s Perfect Match has been a deeply unsettling experience, revealing a troubling undercurrent of misogyny and gender bias that permeates not just reality TV but reflects broader societal attitudes. As a viewer, I expected some level of drama and intrigue, themes that are typical of dating shows. What I didn’t anticipate was a stark display of hostility and gendered blame that unfolded episode after episode. But, before delving into my personal critique of the dysfunctional aspects of this show, it’s important we properly understand its premise.

Perfect Match is a relatively stereotypical dating show, brimming with sexy singles, fighting and coupling, and recoupling. Hosted by Netflix golden boy Nick Lachey, who also spearheads Love is Blind with his wife Vanessa Lachey, the series leads individuals through compatibility challenges and matchmaking scenarios. It aims to transform hopeful singles from solitary people into soulmates each through an assembly of participants from various other Netflix reality shows in an isolated villa in Mexico. Think of it as a dating multiverse of madness.

As I watched, what truly stood out was the show’s sheer absurdity, particularly with the incongruences of men who seem to have taken a page out of The Boys’ Homelander’s playbook. The men throughout the series responded to rejection with blaming and shaming, cloaking their misogynistic behaviour in pseudo-feminist language. When they lost the object of their attraction, they generalised their experiences, labelling all women as untrustworthy or worse, echoing hostile sexism.

One contestant whose experience particularly resonated with me was Dominique Defoe.

Defoe, who identifies as bisexual, took to TikTok to expose fellow contestant Bryton Constantin’s alleged hate speech, particularly his perceived transphobia, revealing a significant cultural divide. Bryton was Defoe’s first match on the show, and their arguments, which viewers saw as mere disagreements about yoga, were actually about much more profound issues. Defoe stood up against Constantin’s hateful rhetoric, which included alleged engagement with anti-LGBTQ social media content.

However, the show’s format, focused on rapidly forming and dismantling relationships for entertainment, sidestepped these critical discussions. Instead of addressing structural flaws, participants resort to divisive rhetoric, exacerbating gender tensions without acknowledging the show’s role in perpetuating such dynamics.

Another instance that was very strange for me was to find out that Defoe and Brittan Byrd, both participants in Perfect Match season 2 and previous seasons of Netflix’s Too Hot to Handle, accused the streaming platform of suppressing their queer romance. The pair revealed on social media that despite matching during a mixer in episode 9, their interaction was inexplicably omitted from the final edit.

“We connected at the party, but our conversation got cut from the show for the second dating series in a row,” Defoe lamented on TikTok, highlighting their minimal screen time across both Too Hot to Handle and Perfect Match. This omission underscores the absurdity of the show’s narrative and raises questions about the editing decisions on a reality show dominated by alpha male stereotypes.

The exclusion of their romance is particularly glaring in a show where the prevailing theme is conflict-driven relationships. It’s almost as if the producers believe that two women finding genuine connection and happiness don’t fit their drama-centric narrative.

Watching Perfect Match Season 2 was an emotional rollercoaster, leaving me with a sense of injustice. This show, which was supposed to be a guilty pleasure, has made me reconsider my own approach to dating. The hostile environment it portrays, coupled with the troubling gender dynamics, made me want to delete all the dating apps on my phone.

Reality TV might be designed for drama, but it shouldn’t perpetuate harmful stereotypes or encourage adversarial gender relations. Looking back, Izzy Zapata was probably the only contestant from the male group who was looking for a genuine connection. Ultimately, shows like Perfect Match offer a distorted view of romance, driven by conflict rather than compatibility. It’s up to us to reject these narratives and seek healthier, more fulfilling relationships. And maybe, just maybe, we can find our own perfect match without the drama.

And yes, if you’re eagerly awaiting the reunion, don’t waste your time. Not a single couple stayed together. The entire charade fell apart as soon as the cameras stopped rolling.