The only thing contestants can find on Perfect Match is sexism, abuse and homophobia

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Published Jun 28, 2024 at 09:00 AM

Reading time: 2 minutes

59198

Watching season 2 of Netflix’s Perfect Match has been a deeply unsettling experience, revealing a troubling undercurrent of misogyny and gender bias that permeates not just reality TV but reflects broader societal attitudes. As a viewer, I expected some level of drama and intrigue, themes that are typical of dating shows. What I didn’t anticipate was a stark display of hostility and gendered blame that unfolded episode after episode. But, before delving into my personal critique of the dysfunctional aspects of this show, it’s important we properly understand its premise.

Perfect Match is a relatively stereotypical dating show, brimming with sexy singles, fighting and coupling, and recoupling. Hosted by Netflix golden boy Nick Lachey, who also spearheads Love is Blind with his wife Vanessa Lachey, the series leads individuals through compatibility challenges and matchmaking scenarios. It aims to transform hopeful singles from solitary people into soulmates each through an assembly of participants from various other Netflix reality shows in an isolated villa in Mexico. Think of it as a dating multiverse of madness.

As I watched, what truly stood out was the show’s sheer absurdity, particularly with the incongruences of men who seem to have taken a page out of The Boys’ Homelander’s playbook. The men throughout the series responded to rejection with blaming and shaming, cloaking their misogynistic behaviour in pseudo-feminist language. When they lost the object of their attraction, they generalised their experiences, labelling all women as untrustworthy or worse, echoing hostile sexism.

One contestant whose experience particularly resonated with me was Dominique Defoe.

Defoe, who identifies as bisexual, took to TikTok to expose fellow contestant Bryton Constantin’s alleged hate speech, particularly his perceived transphobia, revealing a significant cultural divide. Bryton was Defoe’s first match on the show, and their arguments, which viewers saw as mere disagreements about yoga, were actually about much more profound issues. Defoe stood up against Constantin’s hateful rhetoric, which included alleged engagement with anti-LGBTQ social media content.

@dominiquedefoe_

having the small moments where you felt like your voice was pointless and felt completely hopeless/panicked be the storyline is not for the weak but neither is reality TV. and that was excruciating to watch but i think i’m just being hard on myself for a situation that was extremely difficult to navigate. as always, i love you guys and HAPPY FREAKING PRIDE🌈 #perfectmatch #perfectmatchseason2

♬ original sound - dominique defoe

However, the show’s format, focused on rapidly forming and dismantling relationships for entertainment, sidestepped these critical discussions. Instead of addressing structural flaws, participants resort to divisive rhetoric, exacerbating gender tensions without acknowledging the show’s role in perpetuating such dynamics.

Another instance that was very strange for me was to find out that Defoe and Brittan Byrd, both participants in Perfect Match season 2 and previous seasons of Netflix’s Too Hot to Handle, accused the streaming platform of suppressing their queer romance. The pair revealed on social media that despite matching during a mixer in episode 9, their interaction was inexplicably omitted from the final edit.

@dominiquedefoe_

us the morning after going to the netflix perfect match event and thinking about how we matched at the party, immediately had to leave, and weren’t aired for the SECOND DATING SHOW IN A ROW like can we breathe LMAO😭 #perfectmatch #perfectmatchseason2 #wlw #toohotohandle

♬ original sound - dominique defoe

“We connected at the party, but our conversation got cut from the show for the second dating series in a row,” Defoe lamented on TikTok, highlighting their minimal screen time across both Too Hot to Handle and Perfect Match. This omission underscores the absurdity of the show’s narrative and raises questions about the editing decisions on a reality show dominated by alpha male stereotypes.

The exclusion of their romance is particularly glaring in a show where the prevailing theme is conflict-driven relationships. It’s almost as if the producers believe that two women finding genuine connection and happiness don’t fit their drama-centric narrative.

Watching Perfect Match Season 2 was an emotional rollercoaster, leaving me with a sense of injustice. This show, which was supposed to be a guilty pleasure, has made me reconsider my own approach to dating. The hostile environment it portrays, coupled with the troubling gender dynamics, made me want to delete all the dating apps on my phone.

https://twitter.com/realitycece/status/1803843401890070917

Reality TV might be designed for drama, but it shouldn’t perpetuate harmful stereotypes or encourage adversarial gender relations. Looking back, Izzy Zapata was probably the only contestant from the male group who was looking for a genuine connection. Ultimately, shows like Perfect Match offer a distorted view of romance, driven by conflict rather than compatibility. It’s up to us to reject these narratives and seek healthier, more fulfilling relationships. And maybe, just maybe, we can find our own perfect match without the drama.

And yes, if you’re eagerly awaiting the reunion, don’t waste your time. Not a single couple stayed together. The entire charade fell apart as soon as the cameras stopped rolling.

Keep On Reading

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Netflix takes things too far with new AI reality TV show Deep Fake Love

By Billie Walker

An elitist love affair: Why it’s time to start prosecuting celebrities for their climate crimes

By Charlie Sawyer

Celebrity interviewer Liv Marks reveals how Renée Zellweger and Sandra Bullock took her by surprise

By Abby Amoakuh

John Lithgow fumbles JK Rowling question as Harry Potter TV show cast struggles with fan backlash

By Eliza Frost

All the Tea on the new app that lets women vet men and date safely

By Abby Amoakuh

BLACKPINK’s Lisa faces backlash after wearing civil rights icon Rosa Parks on her crotch at Met Gala

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Why do Gen Zers think KFC is using human meat? Unpacking the controversy behind the chain’s latest ad

By Charlie Sawyer

Sabrina Carpenter accused of centering men on controversial album cover

By Eliza Frost

The Summer I Turned Pretty’s Chris Briney is at the centre of a new love triangle, but this time for an audio erotica story 

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Are Aimee Lou Wood and Walton Goggins feuding? Fans freak out after The White Lotus co-stars unfollow each other

By Charlie Sawyer

Donald trump to accept $400M luxury plane from Qatar royal family

By Payton Turkeltaub

Do Gen Z secretly hate their boyfriends? TikTok’s viral #IHateMyBF says yes

By Charlie Sawyer

Gavin Casalegno cancelled? The Summer I Turned Pretty fans turn on him amid cast drama

By Charlie Sawyer

Why has the new sculpture of a Black American woman in Times Square prompted mass outrage?

By Charlie Sawyer

Mexican beauty influencer Valeria Marquez killed during TikTok livestream in alleged femicide

By Charlie Sawyer

Trump grants white South Africans refuge after ending legal protections for Afghans facing deportation

By Charlie Sawyer

What is Mar-a-Lago face? Unpacking the beauty trend prompted by Donald Trump’s second term

By Charlie Sawyer

What is ketamine therapy, the psychiatric treatment healing famous Mormons Jen and Zac Affleck’s marriage?

By Abby Amoakuh

Francesca Farago reveals that influencers are being paid to participate in trend mocking Hailey Bieber

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Gaza journalist death toll surpasses that of both World Wars, following latest Israeli airstrike that killed reporter