The internet just found out that Hello Kitty isn’t a cat, and they’re not coping well
Up until recently, there were a few things in life I knew to be completely and utterly true: Donald Trump is a psychopath, flip flops are rarely comfortable, aura nails bring me joy, and Hello Kitty is definitely a cat. But, oh wait, newsflash: Hello Kitty isn’t a cat. In fact, she’s a middle-class girl living in the suburbs of London with a mum, dad, twin sister, and—this is the real clincher—a pet cat. While we try to navigate this difficult time and come to terms with reality, let’s first chat about how this entire thing came about.
It all kicked off after Jill Cook, the director of retail business development at Sanrio (the Japanese company that made the iconic character) appeared on the Today Show to celebrate Hello Kitty’s 50th anniversary and uttered the earth-shattering words: “She’s actually a little girl.”
@todayshow Fact #1 is Hello Kitty Is NOT a cat, but a little girl originally from London! HelloKitty, the beloved cartoon character that's brought smiles to kids and adults around the world for generations, is celebrating her 50th anniversary this year. NBC's Savannah Sellers reports on the history and surprising fun facts about the pop culture icon.
♬ original sound - TODAY Show
Shortly after Cook’s appearance, dozens of netizens took to TikTok to address the whole ‘not a cat’ bomb. Indeed, weirdly enough, no one seemed to care one bit about the fact that Cook also shared that Hello Kitty loves to bake cookies and is “five apples tall.” In reality, all anyone could talk about was the fact that this entire time, we had believed that this girl had nine lives and was drinking milk every night.
@cherylhickey #duet with @TODAY Show #1 why didnt I know thsi what is happening? Comment pls #hellokitty #trends #hellokittysurprise #fyp #foryou #childhood #plscomment
♬ original sound - TODAY Show
@jennnnwick Hello Kitty is not a cat‼️ #hellokitty #hellokittylover #hellokittyandfriends #hellokittygirl #hellokitty😻
♬ original sound - JennWick
@iamchrisrodgers BRO WHAT!?!? Did yall know this?! #hellokitty#hellokittyisnotacat
♬ original sound - Chris
Also, if Hello Kitty isn’t a cat, why does she have whiskers and paws? Make it make sense. Hello Kitty is one of the most iconic fictional children’s characters of all time, so how is it possible that there are this many of us who had absolutely no clue she was actually a girl, a human mammal if you will?
Some of my favourite reactions online have come from people who’ve decided this entire thing has to be a lie, that there’s no way Hello Kitty isn’t a cat:
@beingbradt #stitch with @TODAY Show maybe I need to watch the whole interview but that little clip - what #hellokitty#fyp
♬ original sound - BeingBrad
@cgdannyb #stitch with @TODAY Show Who knew the news would be gaslighting us 😅😅 #hellokitty
♬ original sound - TODAY Show
All this aside, I would love to know exactly what suburb Hello Kitty is supposedly from. Mainly because the nuclear family and obsession with baked goods are giving Putney and Dulwich energy.
The few clues that we do have come in the form of aerial images of Miss Kitty’s home. Our feline girl’s home is pink and appropriately adorable, giving touches of affluence that hint at a certain level of wealth and fortune.
Irrespective of where exactly she’s based, I think it’s safe to say that this news about Hello Kitty has left people shooketh. Next, they’re going to be telling us that SpongeBob SquarePants is a Republican—which, honestly, I wouldn’t find all that surprising.
