In April 2024, SCREENSHOT posed a poignant question to its social media followers: “Would you rather be stuck in the forest with a man or a bear?” The video racked up an insane 2.4 million views and subsequently sparked a massive conversation online—one that highlighted the critical importance of recognising and centring women and femmes’ thoughts and feelings on gender-based violence. More recently, our team hit the streets once again, this time asking men: “Would you rather share your feelings with a tree or a woman?”

@screenshothq

The question of being stuck in a forest with a man or a bear is circulating on TikTok right now and sparking some interesting conversation.... we know what our answer would be 🐻🌳 #manvsbear #tiktok #tiktoktrend #trending #challenge #streetinterview #voxpop

♬ Terror Music (Scary Song) - IMPERIUM RECORDS

@screenshothq

“Trees, they listen and they don’t judge” 🌳😳 We took to the streets to see if men would rather tell their feelings to a TREE over a woman. #voxpop #streetinterview #mentalhealthawareness #london

♬ original sound - SCREENSHOT

The answers were mixed, with some choosing a tree and others a woman—I’d argue that nothing overtly controversial was said. In all honesty, it was the statements from netizens in the comments section below the video that left me gagged beyond belief.

Before we get into the nitty gritty of it all, I’d like to preface this by saying that I strongly encourage and support male vulnerability. Yet, there have been conversations prompted by this viral question that are incredibly worthy and important—particularly regarding men’s mental health. That being said, it’s also raised some highkey dodgy sexist discourse, a lot of which feels as though it would sit very comfortably on a subreddit for incels…

So, without further ado, this is Explained By a Blonde, and this is my hot take on the viral question: “Would you rather share your feelings with a tree or a woman?”

Now, at the centre of this question is a raw and relevant conversation regarding men’s emotions and the need for open and honest communication. As seen by some of the participants in our video, there are clearly men out there who don’t believe that women can be receptive and open to their feelings.

One user in the comments section noted “a tree won’t judge me,” while another said “a tree can’t use that information against me.”

A user posted this same question into the AskMen subreddit and it prompted very similar responses. One individual wrote: “Tree. I’ve tried sharing my emotions with the few women I had in my life, but it 100% bit me in the ass every single time. Last time, I got the response ‘I’m not your therapist. Go get help.’ That was when I expressed my feelings on the fact that I felt alone, and could not solve that problem.”

Another user stated: “The tree, because a tree does not have to see you in a provider/protector role and if you share your emotions to a tree, it will not affect the way the tree sees you. The tree will not dig up what you shared years ago as ammo against you in a fight or to gossip about you in a breakup in an effort to make them look better. Trees will not get tired of listening to you after 10 seconds and try to steer the conversation about them. Trees are much better than women in those aspects.”

It’s important for everyone to know that their feelings are valid and important. And while this question may have evoked some well-meaning discussion, there has also been a worrying uptake in sexist and misogynistic rhetoric. We saw the same thing happen with the man vs bear conversation, which resulted in a lot of really negative and harmful discourse—primarily from men who refused to be active listeners to women’s fears and instead deemed the entire thing dehumanising.

It’s well known that incelism is on the rise, with these young men being directly linked to extreme violence and hate speech.

@novaramedia

The involuntary celibate community (aka ‘incels’) are often thought to be rightwing, white supremacist, and prone to violence. But how much of that is true? Ash Sarkar is joined by #WilliamCostello – a researcher whose work focuses on the psychology of incels – to discuss what we get wrong about incels, what incels get wrong about women, and the catastrophe that is modern dating culture. This is an old episode of our series Downstream, which you can watch on YouTube. #history #politics #worldpolitics

♬ original sound - Novara Media

I’m not saying that we can’t have discussions about men’s feelings without it always leading to dangerous rhetoric. However, it’s evident that gender-based animosity—particularly on certain social media platforms—has the potential to result in more serious repercussions.