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What is love? 5 signs that prove you’re falling in love

Why do so many of us often wonder about the meaning of love? Could it be because love remains one of the strangest (and strongest) feelings a human can experience? Or is it simply because the more we learn about love, the more we realise we’re still unable to truly understand it?

While love is different for everyone, there are some common thoughts and feelings that can help people identify when it’s happening. Whatever that feeling is, falling in love in today’s dating age is undoubtedly complicated. That’s why, to help simplify things a little bit, I listed 5 scientifically proven signs that you’re falling in love. You’re welcome!

You can’t stop staring at them

Sounds pretty cliché, I know but there’s a reason 72 per cent of people believe in love at first sight. Losing yourself in the eyes of someone else is seen as a classic sign of infatuation. Consultant psychologist Marc Hekster went as far as to explain that it is one of the most obvious signs that you’re falling in love with someone. “Why wouldn’t you want to look into the eyes of someone who you experience as the most beautiful and attractive person in your world?” he said speaking to The Independent.

When you look at someone you love, you’re not just seeing what they look like—you’re looking for something else, imagining a future. Excuse the creepiness, but you’re basically staring at your ‘love object’. According to Dr Fisher’s TED talk, the deep attachment you feel is due to a basic mating drive that encourages you to focus your energy on just one partner in order to start the mating process with a single individual.

You don’t mind when they do something annoying or unattractive

Again, please keep in mind that these signs have been listed by researchers and psychologists, not me. I can definitely agree that while some of my usual pet peeves became insignificant during my most important relationships, I still can’t stand seeing and hearing a partner picking at their nails (which I do myself) or mixing ketchup with mayonnaise—probably the most unattractive thing in the world.

My point is, however, that when in love, especially during early stages, you don’t mind much. In fact, you might not even notice it. Love is commonly associated with the loss of all inhibition, and there’s a reason for that!

True love has the tendency to distort reality, making you focus instead on that person’s positive qualities. This stage often includes daydreams and replaying trivial moments. That’s because you have increased levels of central dopamine along with a spike in central norepinephrine, which is a chemical that improves your memory when you first encounter someone or something new.

Time flies when you’re together

If you are falling in love with someone, chances are, your time with them will go by very quickly. This is often the case when you’re doing something you enjoy, which is why spending time with someone you’re falling in love with is no different than hanging out with your best friend. You’ll be so focused and interested in that person that you won’t notice the ticking clock. This leads me to my next sign.

You abandon your usual activities to spend time with them

Couples invest a lot in the relationship, including time, energy and emotions. In the early stages of a relationship, people falling in love will gradually increase this investment by seeing each other more often, and therefore pushing other usual activities aside.

This can easily become a vicious cycle, as when you’re enjoying spending time with someone, the reward system in your brain increases your motivation to want more of that time. You start to crave their presence and end up forgetting about the other things you used to spend your time on.

You might go as far as to start taking up their interests too in the hope it could potentially strengthen the bond between you. Do you require an example? Fine. I once spent my evening in a board games pub playing Monopoly and other games. Board games are not my thing, I ended up losing all night too, but there I was, and I didn’t even flip one board.

You’re already making plans for the future

Fluttering feelings of love are often quickly followed by a desire to make plans for the future. Why? Our evolutionary impulses, of course! From booking a holiday a few months down the line to daydreaming about kids or buying a house, making plans with your partner increases emotional ties and can bring a couple closer to long-term commitment.

Love might also make you feel unusually positive about what’s next. This is the result of all those ‘dopamine hits’ you have been getting from thinking about your partner and doing things with them.

These are five important signs that prove you might be in love. But here’s my personal last advice. Remember how you stare at that person and how you want to spend all your free time with them, if not more? Well, that feeling of complete surrender where you merge with that person so much that you become completely preoccupied with them might not just be true love—it might be great sex.

Oxytocin, which is released in the brain during sex, can affect emotion, cognition and social bonding, all of which can make you feel closer to someone and foster feelings of love. On that note, I will leave you to decipher whether you’re in love or simply having amazing sex. Hopefully, it’s both!

Top 10 of the sexiest movies to watch on Else Cinema right now

The sexiest movies to watch

Let’s be honest here, who has never rewatched a steamy movie scene just to feel the thrill of great on-screen chemistry once more? I know the answer is yes for a lot of you, just like I now know why I religiously watched so many of those lousy chick flicks as a teen; for the exhilarating thrill that I used to feel when the main characters would (finally) get it on. Growing up, we usually ditch the cheesy movies and end up looking for this exact same feeling in other types of movies, some more mature ones.

If, like me, you’re on a constant quest for the hottest movies out there, I’ve listed the sexiest ones to watch on Else Cinema, my new go-to streaming platform when it comes to erotica. Looking for a sensual romance? Else Cinema has got it. Are you more into passionate affairs? Don’t stress, Else Cinema is here for that too! Here’s my top 10 of the sexiest movies to watch on Else Cinema right now. You’re welcome.

The one for all your lockdown fantasies

Did you just spend a few months working from home, stuck in a chain of video calls? If so, you might have thought about the hot potential of webcams when it comes to erotic experiences—my techy-but-horny self definitely did. Well, SkypeSex, directed by the founder of Else Cinema and erotic film director, screenwriter and producer, Erika Lust herself, is the answer to all your lockdown dreams and hopes.

The one for your solo sesh

One of the best feelings (or worst if you expected someone there with you, it truly depends on the situation) is getting comfortable in your bed alone, fully knowing you’re about to enjoy a relaxing solo session, if you know what I mean. But getting in the mood for it can sometimes be tricky. Fear no more, Be a Hero is probably the hottest movie you could watch while literally enjoying yourself. Short and sweet, it’ll get you off in no time.

The one for your artsy needs

Sometimes, I feel like I’m on the hunt for something more subliminal—something that will arouse me in every sense of the term; physically, for sure, but also mentally. The Gardener depicts hot, neon-lit sweaty people having suffocatingly erotic fun in what looks like a muggy jungle. If you’ve always had a thing for succulents and cacti, then you’re in for a treat.

The one for the Tinder aftermath

As much fun as Tinder can be at first, the thrill of the dating app often fades away only to be quickly replaced by constant left swiping and unopened DMs filled with cringey one-liners. That’s usually when people know the thrill is gone and it’s time for them to go look somewhere else—anywhere Else really. Well, Tinder Taxi is the story of a woman who, after going through that same process, finds her new interest in the front seat of a taxi. Maybe that sounds cliché but trust me, it’s just pure hotness.

Can’t wait to go through the whole list before testing Else Cinema? We feel you, no judgement here! Click here to enjoy your one-month free subscription on Else Cinema. Don’t thank us babes, just enjoy!

Top 10 of the sexiest movies to watch on Else Cinema right now

The one for all the nature lovers out there

Remember the first kiss that Oliver and Elio share in Call Me By Your Name? Although Oliver doesn’t let him finish, Elio sneaks in a little hand action on a grassy riverbank and the fact that this scene never went further left so many of us frustrated for days. That’s where The Outdoor Compilation comes in. From a warm summer’s day taking place in the 70s to a hike that turned into another sweaty activity, the one-hour-long compilation doesn’t miss a beat. If you’ve always had a little self-display fantasy out in the open air, The Outdoor Compilation is the one for you.

The one with a complex storyline

Ever heard of a gripping psychological thriller with steamy erotica that will keep you hooked until the very end? Me either, until now. Made of different episodes put together into one movie, Perspective follows a couple in the final days of their marriage and shows the real impact that emotion plays in relationships. Each episode delves into the complexity of a modern relationship and depicts both partners’ perspective, creating a captivating yet sexy cinematography. What more could you ask for?

The one for the dirty talk enthusiasts

Let’s mention dirty talk while we’re at it, how could we not? While it can sometimes be the sexiest thing ever, dirty talk can often scare people away, which is a shame. Want to reignite your love for dirty talk? Just watch A Talk Too Dirty, which tells the story of a trendy couple celebrating their anniversary on a romantic trip to Barcelona. One thing leading to another, they decide to spice things up by playing a little game and end up experimenting with dirty talk. Oohlala!

The one for a romantic evening

To all my lovey-dovey peeps out there, don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you. If dirty talk is not your bag, Else Cinema has a full category devoted to the lovey-dovey genre, which is basically a softer, more sensual approach to erotica. My favourite one, My Moaning Neighbor tells the story of a man trying to work from home and struggling to concentrate because his neighbour makes sure to be really loud every time she sleeps with someone.

Armed with a noisy hoover and a compilation of barking dogs, the man finally makes himself heard by his neighbour who ends up knocking on his door. You guessed it, the fight turns into a make out session and more. If your date is not getting the signals you’ve been sending them since you both got back to your place, trust me, this will do the trick.

The one for the ultra-kinky ones

Have you pretty much seen it all, tried it all? Then, The Ultimate Kink will probably be the movie that will push you to look further. In it, a female couple who have clearly tried it all realise that they’ve missed one last thing: a man. I won’t ruin the fun by revealing too much but let’s just say the guest quickly realises he’s not playing with beginners…

The one for the ‘I’m always in a rush’ types

Are you as busy as everyone seems to constantly be? Or perhaps you simply don’t have the attention span needed to watch a one-hour-long—what am I saying—a 20-minute-long movie? I feel you, and I’ve got your back. Honeydew is sexy, sweet and short. 6 minutes long, this bite-sized movie focuses on honey and its many benefits once spread on something other than a piece of toast.

Did you find one movie made for you? Even better, did you find more than one? Well, get comfy, take everything off and click here to enjoy your one-month free subscription on Else Cinema. It’s on us!