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4 science-backed facts about simultaneous orgasm

By Marta Bubnowska

Feb 6, 2021

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Simultaneous orgasm is a bonding experience. What is it exactly? To put it simply, it’s the moment when you and your partner orgasm at the same time. It is arousing in the spiritual, mental, romantic, and physical way for both of you. However, climaxing together might be a challenge for some couples.

Pop culture has created a lot of myths revolving around simultaneous orgasms. In plenty of Hollywood romances airing regularly on TV, it’s normal to see couples climax together. But in reality, it’s not a standard, and it actually demands a lot of effort.

Along with myths such as ‘intercourse always ends with an orgasm’, ‘real women squirt‘ or ‘all men can have an erection right after an orgasm’, plenty of people start to feel that there is something wrong with them. So let’s take a closer look at 4 science-backed facts you should believe in when it comes to simultaneous orgasms.

1. Men tend to reach climax faster

It might be challenging to synchronise the responses of cissexual partners due to the different amount of time men and females need to have an orgasm. According to Masters and Johnson, on average, men need around 4 minutes to climax during intercourse, while women reach orgasm after 10 to 20 minutes. As women often need more extended and deeper sexual stimulation, a simultaneous orgasm might be challenging to reach, as a male partner climaxes faster, which usually results in the end of the intercourse.

There is a solution—male partners can start to stimulate their female partner faster. If you’ve been wondering how to use a dildo, one of the answers is ‘during sex with your partner’. On top of that, in order to increase your chances, before the intercourse, prolong foreplay to increase the chances of mutual orgasm.

2. Many women can't have vaginal orgasms

According to research, only 25 per cent of women are consistently orgasmic during vaginal intercourse. Unfortunately, in most cases, it’s physiology, and women can’t change that. However, it doesn’t mean that simultaneous orgasms are out of reach for those women.

Many people believe that mutual climaxing should happen during P-in-V intercourse. But if it’s just a physiognomic obstacle, you can use your fingers or couple’s toys to stimulate the clitoris or put more pressure on the pelvic floor. Simultaneous orgasms are not limited to penetrative sex. Some researches show that it’s the clitoris that is the female G-spot, so its stimulation can help reach female orgasm faster. What’s more, it can be even stronger than an average vaginal orgasm.

3. Not all women are multi-orgasmic

Multiple orgasms increase the possibility of a mutual climax. If a male partner isn’t ready to climax, but a woman comes, the mutual orgasm can happen when she peeks for the second or third time. There are ways to help achieve multiple orgasms among women, but it doesn’t work for everyone. Only 47 per cent of women were reported to have multiple climaxes in one research, and other women were proved to be hypersensitive after the first one.

4. But some men are

However, some men also happen to have multiple orgasms. It’s worth mentioning that orgasm isn’t equal to ejaculation. Men’s orgasms can be achieved through stimulation of the prostate or can occur without ejaculation and still give them a lot of physical and mental pleasure.

The technique of non-ejaculatory multiple orgasms is called NEMO. Ejaculation during which semen is released is a transition between the final step of stimulation and the ‘resting phase’. So if the semen is not released, men still can have orgasms without the refractory period, which means that their bodies are ready for another orgasm.

The key to having them is to practice. Experiment with your partner and with yourself through masturbation to discover your and your partner’s bodies. Masturbation can be extremely helpful if you find having orgasm during an intercourse challenging, as you learn how your body works and what gives you the greatest pleasure. Experiment with the stimulation of the prostate on your own, and use the technique during intercourse.

As you can see, each body is different, and sometimes having a simultaneous orgasm might be challenging. It demands practice, mutual communication, and an understanding of each other’s bodies. The possibility of simultaneous orgasm is much higher in a long, loving relationship where partners understand their needs and are not afraid to experiment.

Simultaneous orgasms are a fantastic experience, but you shouldn’t treat them as a priority in your sex life. Having them, or not, doesn’t determine the quality of your sex. They should be treated as a bonus, not as something mandatory to feel the greatest pleasure. So take the pressure off your orgasm and enjoy the moment.