More than 57,000 people have signed petitions to stop Jeff Bezos from returning back to Earth

By Malavika Pradeep

Published Jun 21, 2021 at 09:34 AM

Reading time: 2 minutes

Last week the internet wanted Jeff Bezos, multibillionaire and founder of Amazon, to buy and gobble up the Mona Lisa. With more than 11,000 signatures, the petition is currently dubbed as the “most important call to action of all times” that will “save the world” and “progress humans as a society.” In the latest twist of events, however, the internet is now on a quest to banish billionaires from the planet altogether.

On 7 June 2021, Jeff Bezos announced his historical space debut aboard the first crewed flight of the New Shepard—the rocket built by his company, Blue Origin. Joined by his brother, Mark Bezos, the venture is set to take place on 20 July 2021, 15 days after the tycoon officially steps down from his 27-year tenure as Amazon CEO. While Bezos is excited to hurl himself into space, so is the rest of the internet. But instead of the mere 10 minutes that he would be spending up there, the internet has other hopes riding on his trip.

“Jeff Bezos is actually Lex Luthor, disguised as the supposed owner of a successful online retail store,” reads the description of a petition on Change.org. “He has worked with the Epsteins and the Knights Templar, as well as the Freemasons to gain control over the whole world. He’s also in bed with the flat earth deniers—it’s the only way they’ll allow him to leave the atmosphere. Meanwhile our government stands by and lets it happen.”

Labelling Bezos as “an evil overlord hellbent on global domination,” the petition essentially outlines how this may be our last chance “before they enable 5G microchips and perform a mass takeover.” With 19,870 signatures and counting, the petition is undoubtedly on its way to become one of the top signed on the platform.

Another petition, backed with the same ‘noble’ cause, currently boasts 37,900 signatures and counting. Although the description is summed up as, “Billionaires should not exist…on earth, or in space, but should they decide the latter they should stay there,” it is the comments section that drives the entire movement for “hurl the rich.”

“Yeet him into the sun,” wrote one user. “Hope they leave him in orbit forever,” prayed another. While a niche set of signees agreed to “sealing him in a container with $189 billion and dispatching him elsewhere on the way,” the others were seen betting on his “rather unfortunate landing” back on Earth. As for their reasons for signing the petition, they vary wildly between his illicit relationship with tax evasion and “because McKenzie told me to.”

“Bezos is an evil dragon sitting on a mountain of untaxed gold coins. He can stay in space, or come back and pay taxes,” urged one user while another hoped there is “enough room up there for him and his ego.” The only users perceiving Bezos’ trip under a positive light here are those who believe he is an alien in the first place. “He is an immigrant and is finally going back home,” they added.

With the number of signatures and comments increasingly channelling their #boybye energy, one thing is abundantly clear. Be it for science or humanity, “wealthy leeches” like Jeff Bezos should either do better for everyone, reverse ‘moon-opoly’ or get off our lawns. And with the way the internet works, petitions for Bill Gates and Elon Musk to join Bezos will surface sooner than expected. After all, no harm done to be one among the thousands on an online petition, right?

https://twitter.com/Bernieshat/status/1405080931367591940

Keep On Reading

By Fleurine Tideman

Your Honor, I’d like to plead the case for Taylor Swift going to the Super Bowl

By Abby Amoakuh

After School Satan Club causes uproar in US elementary school

By Bianca Borissova

What role did Mormons, momfluencers and pre-teen girls play in the current Stanley Cup craze?

By Alma Fabiani

Is David Attenborough dead? Netizens concerned by trending hashtag

By Charlie Sawyer

O.J. Simpson dies at the age of 76 following a battle with cancer 

By Abby Amoakuh

The rise of Ozempic babies: Popular weight loss drug found to lower efficacy of birth control pills

By Charlie Sawyer

Fans predict Kris Jenner will oust Alabama Barker from the Kardashian family

By Charlie Sawyer

Zac Efron reveals gruelling body transformation for upcoming wrestling film The Iron Claw

By Abby Amoakuh

Fans boycott Stranger Things ahead of season 5 release amid Noah Schnapp controversy

By Abby Amoakuh

Inside Just Stop Oil training sessions where new recruits are taught how to deal with angry drivers 

By Abby Amoakuh

Europe still sterilises disabled women despite the practice being a human rights violation

By Charlie Sawyer

Why did Jeremy Allen White and Addison Timlin divorce? Tracking the actor’s dating history up to Rosalía

By Abby Amoakuh

From techno string quartets to thrifted dresses, Gen Z weddings are on the rise

By Abby Amoakuh

New Channel 5 documentary My Wife, My Abuser: The Secret Footage compared to Depp-Heard trial

By Abby Amoakuh

The murder of a 22-year-old nursing student in Athens Georgia could decide the US presidential elections

By Abby Amoakuh

Everything we know so far about The Summer I Turned Pretty season 3

By Charlie Sawyer

Video of teenage girls using makeup to put on blackface in Sephora goes viral

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Netflix’s depiction of Griselda Blanco was wrong. Why the cocaine godmother was not a feminist icon

By Charlie Sawyer

Schitt’s Creek star Emily Hampshire slammed for dressing up as Johnny Depp and Amber Heard for Halloween

By Fleurine Tideman

I love you Barbie, but we need Feral Women Media now more than ever