On Monday 28 October 2024, Shawn Mendes sat on stage during a concert in Colorado and told the audience that he was still “figuring out” his sexuality. Not even 24 hours later, TMZ had published an article titled Shawn Mendes hugging friend Mike … after addressing sexuality, which was accompanied by a series of paparazzi shots of the singer embracing his good male friend. Straight away, it was clear what the tabloid was trying to do—take two separate moments and connect them in such a way to create a particular narrative regarding Mendes’ sexuality. Understandably, the entire thing filled me with anger, and I think we need to talk about it.

For context, following Mendes’ split from long-time girlfriend Camilla Cabello in 2021, the singer went through a string of different relationships and flings (notably, he spent some quality time with pop girl of the moment, Sabrina Carpenter). 

And throughout all of this time, people have been convinced that there was something worth commenting on regarding the artist’s sexuality. Indeed, when you consider the fact that Mendes is only 26 years old, it’s truly wild how much his sexual orientation has been debated and discussed by news publications over the years.

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A post shared by Shawn Mendes (@shawnmendes)

This obsession is probably partially what led the singer to recently address things on stage in Colorado. Mendes stated: “The truth is that I didn’t get to do a lot of 15-year-old things and discover parts of myself that you do at 15. There’s this thing about my sexuality, and people have been talking about it so long. It’s kind of silly, because I think sexuality is such a beautifully complex thing, and it’s so hard to just put it into boxes.”

“It always felt like such an intrusion on something very personal to me. Something that I was figuring out in myself, something that I had yet to discover and still have yet to discover it. The real truth about my life and my sexuality is that, man, I’m just figuring it out like everyone,” he continued.

I’m so sick of news publishers speaking about celebrities’ sexualities. Not only is it invasive, but it’s also highly damaging. And Mendes is, of course, not alone in this. Other public figures such as Billie Eilish, Elliot Page, Demi Lovato, and Miley Cyrus have all at times had to make public statements about their sexuality simply because the press will not stop hounding them for answers 

I remember when Kit Connor from Heartstopper was forced to take to X, formerly Twitter, to address his own sexuality because he was being so incessantly harassed by both the public and news publications to speak on it. The actor, who was only a teenager at the time, wrote: “Back for a minute. I’m bi. Congrats for forcing an 18 year old to out himself. I think some of you missed the point of the show. Bye.”

What Connor said in a video for British GQ actually speaks quite a lot to the Mendes situation. The actor noted: “the idea that you can tell someone’s sexuality based on the way they look, the way they talk, the way they walk, the way they dress, is quite frankly ridiculous, and it’s really quite harmful.” And it’s completely true. Mendes’ authentic self, whether that be the way he chooses to dress or how he holds himself in public, should not all of a sudden be an indicator of his sexuality. And moreover, even if it was, it’s none of our business!

Newsflash, a man wearing a crop top and nail polish might just mean that he likes crop tops. It’s really not that deep.

a little reminder
the idea that you can tell someone's sexuality based on the way they look, the way they talk, the way they walk, the way they dress, is quite frankly ridiculous, and it's really quite harmful
Kit Connor for British GQ

pic.twitter.com/gUDajJduxE

— Kit Connor Info (@KitConnorInfo) October 26, 2023

Coming out should be empowering, but instead, unfounded queer-baiting accusations have forced Kit Connor to come out as bi to everyone before he was ready. This is so messed up. I hope he’s ok and I hope the people who harassed him feel bad and actually learn something from this. pic.twitter.com/Km1f8PaMX1

— Sleighvid Opie 🎄 (@DavidOpie) October 31, 2022

TMZ has always represented some of the lowest forms of reporting that exists in the world. One look at the way in which it handled Liam Payne’s death confirms that. And again, in this situation, the publisher is once more prioritising sensationalism over responsibility and respect.

I hope for Mendes’ sake that he finds a way to understand himself in privacy, and I also hope that one day we can reach a point where the intimate romantic lives of celebrities aren’t exploited to the point of no return. Whether or not we’ll ever get there, I’m not sure.