Penis size has been researched somewhat extensively—myths on how to decipher what’s going on in someone’s pants, without sneaking a literal peek, have been whispered through society uncontrollably for centuries. Now, don’t lie to me, we’ve all at some point grazed our eyes over a man’s hand or a shoe size. Then again, a penis’ size preference (in a sexual partner’s case) is just that: a matter of preference, and I cannot speak for all of you out there as to what you’d like to be surprised with. But nonetheless, we’re here to discuss what makes a penis reach a certain size. Is it genes? And while we’re at it, you can rest assured that I’ll find out whether hands and feet play a part in the assumptions of what one’s got going on down under.

According to research, and the evidence that comes with it, genes do actually seem to play an important role in the growth of a guy’s peen, which is a fact not to astonish you—however, what might, is that the genetic material mostly comes from mothers. Essentially, for the first seven weeks of fetal development, both male and female fetuses look the same, but if you were given a Y chromosome from your father, week eight will be the turning point in developing male genitalia, penis included.

If you get another X chromosome from your father (either an X or Y will be added onto an existing X chromosome from your mother) you’ll get a set of ovaries, penis not included. This means, in non-scientific terms, dad decides whether you’ll be sporting a penis or vagina by the time you’re out the womb, but mum does the shaping of what comes out of it.

That being said, director of sexual health and medicine at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York, Darius Paduch, told Mel Magazine that “If a father has a bigger penis, the son’s will probably be similar in length.” Although not guaranteed, he continued “Men have one X chromosome, and women have two. Since boys always inherit the X chromosome from the mother and the selection of that X chromosome is random, this can explain why one brother may have inherited genes for a large penis from one of the mother’s X chromosomes, but another brother inherited an average-size penis from the other.”

Dick growth is ultimately out of the dick’s control, and most fall within an ‘average’ range (don’t @ me for saying the word average, I’m talking numbers here). The average erect penis size is 13.12 centimetres, that’s 5.16 inches long, according to a study by the British Journal of Urology International. The ‘above average’ is 16 centimetres, or 6.3 inches long. Yes, right about now was the exact point that I went to look for a ruler. Anyway, moving on, so what about girth?

Paduch stated that “The penis grows in thickness and length with the onset of puberty and stops growing in length in mid-to-late puberty.” He added that “Its growth is regulated or driven by two hormones: testosterone and growth hormone. Testosterone seems to relate more to length, and growth hormone to girth, but we need both of them. What’s fascinating is that despite the fact that men produce testosterone all their lives, the penis doesn’t grow indefinitely, though the girth may increase slightly with age even after puberty.” This does not mean you should go supplementing, hormonal exposure can speed up growth, but mainly in fetal development.

When it comes to assuming what size your date’s packing in his pants though, unfortunately, there isn’t much concluded evidence as to whether big hands or feet correlate to the size of one’s member, at all. When all studies are compiled together, the most consistent correlation is actually height and overall proportion, but again, it’s an iffy argument. Like anything though, you can always find the answer you’re looking for when you go down the Google rabbit hole yourselves, but I’m just here to tell you how it is.

At the end of the day it’s, as always, better not to assume at all. Besides, size doesn’t really matter, regardless of a sexual partner’s personal preference. Voicing your wants and needs, your ‘keep doing that’ and ‘let’s switch it up’ comments matter far, far more when it comes to sexual pleasure. You can’t control your partner’s preferences, or penis size, or love for that matter, but you all can (and should) have hot, moreish, lip-biting sex. If you are needing a little help to fuel the flames or break the ice, try a sex game.

We all know what’s brimming, another lockdown is bound to happen. No one knows how the next will be different to the last, but it inevitably will. One thing is for certain though, we won’t be walking into this one blindfolded. Or maybe we will—why not invite the one you missed having around last time for this lockdown, and pack a real blindfold too? Have you ever played a sex game?

Sex games don’t have to be all raunchy, leathered up and Fifty Shades of Grey-esq, they can be quite gentle and fun actually. There’s a game tailored for all to enjoy, just like sex itself. So don’t be afraid or embarrassed, there is no shame when it comes to sweet or spicy lovin’. Here are a few sexy suggestions to pass the time together, and if you’re really unsure how to start, just hand the control over to your partner.

This isn’t the sex game you would quite imagine, it’s actually a very simple one. First things first, have you got a safe word? Once you’ve picked one with your partner, just let your body be their playground. How about ordering a sex toy (or whip it out if you already have one), hand it over and let them play with it, and you. Letting another person take control like this does require a certain level of trust, but if you’re really comfortable with each other, bring out the hand ties and pin each other down. Then swap—everybody wins.

Give yourselves half an hour to scribble down some of your wildest fantasies onto slips of paper and put them into a bowl, the ones that you haven’t quite opened up about yet. Obviously, you will be restricted to your house, so don’t put something like sex on a plane—you can save that for a post-lockdown treat.

Rules: pick out a fantasy slip at random, whenever you feel like it, and make it happen! Get into character with whatever you have around the house as props, and let your imaginations run wild.

How long can it take either of you to make the other climax? Set some rules as well as a timer for this one, they can be whatever you want, but for example: you both can only use your mouth. Now sometimes the idea of a timer can induce a certain pressure, which could freak one of you out, so make sure you do everything you can to release the pressure with a joke or too, or some vino.

Top tip: if the rule is just to use your mouth, then who’s to say you can’t slowly strip from across the room towards them before making contact? Do whatever you want babes, timer starts at the touch.

This is a really fun one, and one where the blindfold can make its guest appearance, alongside a few other things. Blindfold your partner and have them lie down flat and naked, on a bed, on the floor, wherever, but you’ll want access to their full body. Then, collect a few things from around your house. Have you got any feathers? Lotions or oils? Wax? Melted chocolate? Anything textured or liquid really, that you can run along their skin for them to guess what it is. This is a points game, see who can guess the most.

Warning: don’t use anything like hot wax near either of your genitals or sensitive areas, the mood will turn from saucy to sad real quick!

What is a sex game article without the classic of all classics, strip poker? This time though, mix it up. Raise the stakes, invite another couple (virtually) to join in the fun. Or make a bet, whoever wins can’t wear clothes for the rest of the week, you get the gist. Get thinking!

Last but not by any means least, this is where you can get really creative. It’s totally normal to lean into our trusty favourites, and sex usually flows quite organically once it starts, but have you ever been curious about how a sex position feels, and have never had the chance to try it out? Now’s the time. See how many weird and wonderful ways you can rearrange your bodies, if you run out of ideas, that’s where Google comes in. The challenge is the prize!

Have fun lovers, oh, and if you’re single—why not risk it for the biscuit? I’m sure your crush won’t want to spend another lockdown alone again! If you hate each other by the end, at least you’ve ticked a curiosity off the list—next! Good luck.