Love lockdown: why are so many couples breaking up during and after quarantine?

By Harriet Piercy

Updated Sep 17, 2020 at 04:30 PM

Reading time: 3 minutes

Lockdown as we know it is over, and after each of us had all the time in the world to reevaluate our mere existence, it seems like we are now ready to turn over a new leaf. One reflection in particular that all of us took part in during quarantine, in some way or another, was one that focused on our relationships in general, but as we crawl back into the world, we’ve noticed an impressive rise in romantic breakups, the breakup phase of lockdown perhaps—which makes us question if lust is the new love. To find out why so many couples are breaking up during and after lockdown, I spoke to a few people and found common (and a little less common) reasons.

To visualise the three types of relationships I’ll mainly be talking about, I give you, exhibit a) The vase. The strong and sturdy relationship that once held pretty flowers—but knocked off their perches, were smashed into smithereens. Metaphorically. Think of Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with gold lacquer. Or in other words, the ones still fixing their otherwise broken relationships.

Then we have exhibit b) The lightbulb. The clear cut moments of truth. The ones that dumped, or did the dumping. The ones that suddenly realised by seeing clearly, they were better off without each other. I feel for them all, but let’s be honest here, if you can’t make it work during an end of the world type scenario, then they probably weren’t the one for you.

Finally, exhibit c) The bathmat. The one we don’t enjoy investing much in, but buy anyway. The soft, comforting luxury of a relationship that rose and fell in lockdown.

So, who dared to enter the no exit zone of their confined spaces for what felt like never-ending months? Who probably saw sides to their partners they wished they could unsee? There was no place to hide, with no pubs to go to, no brunches with friends, no hungover lunches at family gatherings—just two people stuck together, indefinitely.

Bowel movements became part of the entire household’s agenda. And for those of you out there that like a Hollywood wax to feel sexy, I have extra sentiments for you. Life got real traumatic, the at-home wax almost turned into a trip to A&E, and the over-priced epilator you ordered after scrolling through Amazon recommendations is now gathering cobwebs.

Let’s talk to exhibit a) The Vase, who had a slightly irrational, but somewhat humorous reason to break up—in hindsight. This no longer couple admitted that they simply wanted different things for comfort when things got tough, but it took time in the bedroom to realise that this was the case. Let’s just say, the positioning was just not quite right.

Love lockdown: why are so many couples breaking up during and after quarantine?

One half of my anonymous interviewees confessed their side of the problem. “I just didn’t want to do anal. Ok?” which is fair enough, but is it enough to break up over? They added that “Just because we were experimenting, spicing things up not to get bored, does not mean that I have to sit on the ultimatum of our relationship based on the fact that I won’t voluntarily leak shit onto the sheets… Glad he asked now and not 5 years down the line locked into a house because of a newborn child.”

What really stands out here is “locked into a house,” with a side of frustration over a bed of newly discovered differences. The vase is a stark example, however it is one that stems from bottled up energy, and that can be related to many of our situationships.

The tensions that rose within relationships of all kinds this year aren’t necessarily surprising, a global-pandemic is enough to send all of our stress levels through the roof.

Now, the all-familiar exhibit b) The light bulb. This no longer couple broke up because one of them suddenly had the urge to ‘live their life’ and ‘figure out what they wanted’ when lockdown was lifted. The grass is always greener on the other side, right? A heartbreaking illusion, or a matter of fact.

Last but by no means least, exhibit c) Our dear bathmat. A relationship that rose and fell during lockdown, the good old FaceTime dater. To give you an idea of what we’re dealing with here, there is no space—no space at all, on a FaceTime call for an awkward silence with someone you barely know. Blame the bad signal all you want.

And the excitement of those ‘what’s your favourite’ something or other texts? It quickly wears off. Then, when you finally meet as lockdown lifts, you’ve exhausted all your chat, both forcing fireworks because you’ve spent so much time on the damn idea of this person that you can’t just back out for boredom now.

In truth though, you can just back out. Of anything. Lockdown has made a lot of people realise that you don’t need to be everyone’s cup of tea. It’s made a lot of us more patient in day to day tasks but short-fused when it comes to our affection and time, because we value it more than we did before. I guess we have to ask ourselves, is this person better than all that came before? Now, If this was the end of the world, why stay with a pressure to love over a freedom to love? Beats me.

Keep On Reading

By Charlie Sawyer

The UK Conservative government is out to get the entire LGBTQIA+ community. Here’s how

By Charlie Sawyer

Did Travis Kelce propose to Taylor Swift after the Super Bowl 2024?

By Abby Amoakuh

Selena Gomez fans bash new boyfriend Benny Blanco and call him unworthy

By Charlie Sawyer

Jacob Elordi accused of grabbing radio employee’s throat over Saltburn bathwater prank

By Charlie Sawyer

Vivek Ramaswamy shares Taylor Swift conspiracy and Robert F. Kennedy Jr. denies OnlyFans rumour

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Explicit 18+ flyers of Democrat Susanna Gibson sent to voters in a sexist Republican smear campaign

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Shia LaBeouf ditches acting career to become a Catholic deacon instead

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Who is Adan Banuelos? The cowboy who has stolen Bella Hadid’s heart

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Man climbs over train tracks to harass woman at London station, prompting calls for safety measures

By Emma O'Regan-Reidy

Does Bobbi Althoff mark the end of the apathetic celebrity interviewer?

By Alma Fabiani

What does being so babygirl mean and what’s Jacob Elordi got to do with it?

By Abby Amoakuh

Bobbi Althoff thrown out of Drake’s SXSW party attending uninvited reignites affair rumours

By Abby Amoakuh

New Alabama bill to add rape exception to abortion ban and punish rapists with castration

By Charlie Sawyer

Fans predict Kris Jenner will oust Alabama Barker from the Kardashian family

By Fatou Ferraro Mboup

Female students fear harassment after all-male committee form pro-life society in Manchester

By Charlie Sawyer

With Amy Schumer on the verge of being cancelled, here are 4 of her most problematic moments

By J'Nae Phillips

Exploring the rise of dental aesthetics and women’s grillz for Gen Z

By Abby Amoakuh

Ariana Grande shakes off haters with new song as long-time stalker finally gets convicted

By Abby Amoakuh

Black models boycott Melbourne Fashion Week to protest racial discrimination

By Abby Amoakuh

Trump’s gag order paused as Biden secures more pandas from China