Anti-ageing obsessed millionaire Bryan Johnson gets backlash for comparing erections to his son’s
Biohacker Bryan Johnson has the internet talking once again after the multimillionaire decided to post the data of his 19-year-old son’s—drumroll please—nocturnal erections. In the understandably controversial post that sparked a large wave of backlash online, Johnson compared his son’s erection metrics to his own, sharing the detailed records for all the world to see. The questionable move redirected attention towards the tech mogul’s odd obsession with anti-ageing.
Who is Bryan Johnson?
Bryan Johnson is the founder and former CEO of Kernel, a company that creates devices which monitor and record brain activity. He also heads up the OS Fund, a venture capital firm that invests in early-stage science and technology companies. What Johnson became notorious for though, is his obsession to reverse the ageing process, which was explored in a 90-minute Netflix documentary called Don’t Die: The Man Who Wants to Live Forever.
In it, the 47-year-old multimillionaire explains how he has restructured his whole life to prevent life’s natural ageing process and spends roughly $2 million a year on staying youthful.
A central theme within the documentary was Johnson’s relationship with his son, Talmage Johnson. For context, one of the various treatments Johnson subjects himself to depends on literal “young blood.” He receives blood transfusions from young anonymous donors who he personally screens to ensure that they have an ideal body mass index (BMI), are free of diseases, and live a healthy lifestyle, according to Business Insider.
And one of his donors included his, at the time, 17-year-old son.
Just so everyone knows, the FDA advises against people infusing young blood because there’s “no compelling clinical evidence on its efficacy.”
This might be why the multimillionaire decided to discontinue “young plasma exchanges” after recognising that it doesn’t yield any benefits.
For someone who is so heavily invested in science, he should listen to more of it. And now, he is in an actual penis-measuring contest with his son.
What is Bryan Johnson’s relationship to his son?
From blood boy to boner brother—not sure if it’s an improvement: on Wednesday 22 January 2024, Johnson posted a comprehensive dataset comparing the duration and quality of his nighttime erections to his son Talmage’s.
Nighttime erection data from my 19-year-old son, @talmagejohnson_, and me. His duration is two minutes longer than mine.
Raise children to stand tall, be firm, and be upright. pic.twitter.com/ruIYyPMrUC
— Bryan Johnson /dd (@bryan_johnson) January 22, 2025
The stats included their number of erections, total length of “episodes,” sleep efficiency, and something labelled “erection quality.” It made the entire internet want to call child protective services.
“His duration is two minutes longer than mine,” Johnson wrote over a picture of the datasets. “Raise children to stand tall, be firm, and be upright.” A lot to unpack here. Thank god I’m not his therapist, and I seriously hope that he has one.
Two years ago, billionaire @bryan_johnson was using his 17 year old son as a blood boy because he’s scared of aging/dying
Now he’s posting data about his son’s erections
He’s simply an abusive father pic.twitter.com/6g4yRcWWwu
— John Hasson (@SonofHas) January 23, 2025
every week bryan johnson releases another episode of his slow burn serial that’s about how he’s absolutely 100% sexually abusing his kids https://t.co/DGxh4WnWdQ
— doctor eep (@carpethefish) January 23, 2025
I know we all hate Bryan Johnson but you gotta admit he’s one of the apex predators of the troll game. https://t.co/J5IvIBVMtm
— Zac Wasielewski (@xac) January 22, 2025
— WOLF (@WOLF_Financial) January 23, 2025
Talmage, for what it’s worth, appears to be totally on board with all of it. He retweeted his father’s boner chart, adding, “I’m grateful for the way my dad has raised me.” Good for you, Talmage.
I’m grateful for the way my dad has raised me. https://t.co/amtORnrVN3
— Talmage Johnson (@talmagejohnson_) January 22, 2025
Previously, Johnson has also gone in-depth on his “penis rejuvenation” strategies, including weekly penis injections that he rated up to a “9.5 out of 10” on a painfulness scale.
So this, as weird as it sounds, isn’t at all unusual for the eccentric investor.
