Is your aura a little scrambled? Are you feeling like there’s some bad juju stuck somewhere inside of you—either because you’ve recently been hanging out with people with some pretty toxic personalities or because you thought saying yes to that after-party last weekend was a good idea at the time? Don’t worry too much about it, we’ve got an eggcellent way for you to feel brand new again. Whether you’ve previously heard about the many wonders a good ol’ egg cleanse can do to your soul, we’re here to let you know what the fuss is about.
Can rubbing an egg against your forehead really help or will you just look ridiculous? More importantly, can you still eat that same egg again afterwards? We looked into it for you.
Before we get into the specifics of what an egg cleanse entails, it’s important you learn a bit more about where the practice comes from. Known as ‘la limpia’ in Spanish, the practice of egg cleansing is said to derive from Mexico and Mesoamerica, although similar traditions can also be found in the cultures of Italy and the Philippines. “Practitioners differ on the details of the ritual, but the basics don’t vary; believers insist that by merely rolling an uncooked, whole egg all over your body, the egg will suck up the bad energies that plague you, cure your illnesses, and clean out your dirty, filthy chakras,” reads a VICE article on the topic.
In Italy, the same practice is part of a wider term used to define a number of loosely related family-based folk traditions found throughout the country; ‘benedicaria’, which means ‘way of blessing’. “Though referred to by some as ‘folk magic’ or even as ‘witchcraft’, the various benedicaria traditions are concerned almost exclusively with healing, cleansing, spirituality, and religious devotion,” explains a Wikipedia page on the Italian tradition.
Among the more commonly known practices are the use of olive oil and/or eggs as a cure for the ‘Malocchio’ or ‘Evil Eye’, along with the use of candles, the Rosary, herbs, and Novenas in honour of the various Saints. In this exercise, the egg is washed, dried, and then covered in Holy Water while the practitioner prays over it. The egg is then rolled over the alleged victim’s body in a loosely prescribed pattern, paying special attention to any area which may feel the most pain; the egg is believed to absorb any negative energy. After doing this for fifteen minutes, the egg is broken by throwing it in the toilet and flushing the remains.
“This is very similar to a practice found in Mexican Curanderismo and Filipino Pagtatawas which has the same objective, and it is also an example of a Catholic Sacramental being combined with a possible pre-Christian practice, with the latter being subordinated to the belief-system of Catholicism,” continues the Wikipedia article.
An egg is the symbol of life in its purest and simplest form. Regular egg healers believe that eggs are energetically polarised and are therefore able to draw negatively charged energy away from the body. Some shamans report eggs becoming significantly heavier as they perform the ritual. In more extreme cases, energy fields are reported to become so heavy the egg explodes under pressure. Should this happen during your practice, just clean up the mess and start again with a new egg. No judging, but let’s be honest, you probably have a considerable amount of negative energy to extract.
In order to be effective, the egg needs to move constantly and calmly, rolling across the contours of the body. There is no right or wrong way to do an egg cleanse but always try to get the most calming output possible.
First, you’re going to take a fresh, unblemished egg and wash it in some salty water and lemon juice. If you’re religious, you can even say a few prayers while holding it, but according to VICE, “many practitioners don’t get religious about the ritual at all.”
Then, you’re going to slowly roll that same egg all over your body like a purifying jade roller. It is also advised to hold the egg in your dominant hand and concentrate on any areas of specific pain. It might not hurt to “ask a Spirit to make the egg into a vessel which will vacuum off any discordant or negative energy you might be holding at the time” as Shamanic Readings suggests.
Although we won’t be the ones guaranteeing you miracles, some claim egg healings have previously cured fevers and made asthma fully disappear. Others say the feeling is just generally pleasurable. In either event, expect some good vibes. After the cleanse, you have two options: either crack the egg open into a bowl of water, let it settle, and then read the egg as if it were tea leaves or dispose of it by breaking it in the toilet and flushing it. Then dump a cup of salt and lemon juice down the toilet, just in case.
If you do decide to have a peek at what’s inside your cracked open egg, get ready to be surprised. Several people have reported that their egg revealed a black yolk. Others have found it contained strange red dots. Spooky…
For centuries, humanity has been on the search for a fool-proof way to cut boiled eggs evenly. First, they tried the knife technique, followed by the cooling rack technique and then the unflavoured floss technique—only to invent an entire device with small blades to achieve uniform slices later on. But what if you could change the size of the canvas without conjuring up ideas to fit the desired art? Introducing long eggs, an eggstreme food trend that will make you question your morals only while serving it for others to eat.
Imagine wiggling a cylindrical, 20-inch long, yolk-filled log of boiled egg in your hands. Now imagine slicing it—made easier by its PVC pipe-like packaging—to discover the yolk running evenly throughout the loaf, wrapped with egg whites from all the sides. That’s a long egg for you. If you can’t imagine all of that, I’ve got you. Here’s a real-time depiction of the ‘abomination’:
Almost makes you believe humanity has cracked genetic mutation, right? Sadly, no chicken nor velociraptor is responsible for the creation of long eggs. In fact, the closest we’ve been to witnessing an actual chicken laying a long egg is on Reddit, when a user posed with a 5-inch egg minutes after it was laid.
So who is responsible for these 20-inch egg loaves? What if I told you that humanity invented these 46 years ago in Denmark? Debuting in 1974, long eggs are the creation of a Denmark-based company called DANÆG. Made using the SANOVO 6-32, normal-sized eggs are first washed and cracked to separate the egg white from the yolk. The whites are then cooked in a mould that has a hole running along its centre. The yolks are later injected evenly into this hole and cooked to resemble regular eggs, but longer. Once these aesthetic rolls wiggle their way down towards the quality inspectors, they are then double-checked, packed and sold as the “DANÆG Long Egg”—which is still available in markets today.
Although long eggs were invented back in 1974, it wasn’t until a video advertising the product surfaced in 2013 that the trend truly divided the internet. “Abomination,” “Satan’s offspring,” and “Okay, but why tho?” were common echo chambers the trend was often hard-boiled in. Until…DIY videos started flocking the internet.
Similar to the SANOVO 6-32, begin by washing and cracking a couple of eggs to separate the whites from the yolk. Now grab your beater and whisk both the components separately. Boil some water on the stove and begin oiling the insides of a tube or a heat-resistant glass. The oiling process here is a necessary step to ensure the long egg plops right out after boiling. Now submerge the glass into the pot of boiling water and stick a thinner glass into the middle. Rubber bands can be stretched taut across the handles to wedge the inner mould in place.
Once your apparatus is ready, pour the egg whites into the outer mould and wait for them to cook. Now remove the inner mould and pour the yolk into the boiled orifice. Wait for the yolks to cook (depending on your yolk-consistency preference) and then remove from the heat. All that’s left now is to slice, eat and (maybe) repeat!
For some, long eggs might be worth the whisk. However, if you still aren’t willing to take the risk, it helps to warm up a little before committing the so-called sin. How about visiting this subreddit dedicated to experiments with eggs, for starters? Finding your long egg name using the second letter of your first name helps too.