Pleasurable money: this vibrator’s speed does what the Stock Market tells it to

By Harriet Piercy

Published Apr 17, 2021 at 10:00 AM

Reading time: 2 minutes

CamSoda, a leading adult entertainment webcam platform, has recently announced the launch of StockCast, which is first and foremost a platform that allows people to track the volatility of their stocks (which is basically the degree of variation in a trading price series over time). But the platform does more than that. Depending on the degree to which price moves, it triggers your vibrator to move according to the volatility of the prices tracked as well—gifting you with sexual pleasures quite unlike anything else. Here’s everything you need to know.

To put the vibrations into perspective: a stock with a price that fluctuates wildly—hits new highs and lows or moves erratically—is considered highly volatile, and in this case, a turbulent and uncertain vibration down your pants. However a stock that maintains a relatively stable price has low volatility, resulting in steady vibrations.

The platform pairs interactive sex toys for both males and females, so that no one gets left out with the performance of individual stocks they have invested in. As CamSoda puts it, “increasing or decreasing the frequency of vibration based on the real-time value of the stock. If the value of the stock goes up, the vibrating sensation increases; and if the stock value goes down, the vibrating sensation decreases.”

Daryn Parker, VP at CamSoda publicly announced that “Here at CamSoda, we’re all about providing people with pleasure. Given how volatile the stock market has been recently, we saw an opportunity for our fans to synch their stocks to their sex toys and derive sexual pleasure from the fluctuations, The more money you make, the more pleasure you get. All it takes is one big boom.” And with the sniff of COVID-19 induced market volatility in the air, I’m sure we’re all in for the ride of our lives.

To use the platform, you simply have to go onto CamSoda’s website and choose which cryptocurrency you want to track, then sync up your toys and enjoy. Thisisn’t CamSoda’s first venture into the realm of interactive sex toys either. In the past, the adult entertainment platform has launched an on-demand marketplace that offered users a catalog of simulated blowjobs and other things from webcam models as well as amateurs in the industry.

Similarly, CamSoda created BitCast, which also allowed users to pair their sex toys to align with their investments in Bitcoin, Ethereum and Litecoin. The only difference between this version and the 2021 version of the idea, is the stock in which it is invested. StockCast investment options are based on current stocks, equities or other financial securities such as the Foreign Exchange Market (Forex), basically: currencies.

The entertainment platform covers all grounds, because CamSoda is also the mastermind behind Grubuzz, which links up to something we’ve grown accustomed to waiting for: food deliveries. Uber Eats unknowingly may be providing even more of a thrill to many users, as sex toy vibrations become stronger as your delivery approaches. Happy food on a whole new level if you asked me.

What I can’t help but concern myself over though is that, most people might enjoy a volatile and unexpected sex toy experience, but is this teaching them habits that have real life consequences? Chasing pleasure on either the sexual or increase of capital sides of the spectrum should probably be kept separate.

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