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30 of the best funny pick up lines

By Harriet Piercy

Nov 20, 2020

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Pick up line, anyone? Welcome, fellow bad daters. You are not alone. Let me change your game in a way that’s so hilariously bad, that it’s got to be good… one would hope. Here are 30 of the world’s funniest (or worst) pick up lines. Word of caution: if they ain’t laughin’, run Forest, run, because you might not be the only one delivering a punchline.

30 funny pickup lines

1.“If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.”

2.“Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.”

3.“I lost my keys… Can I check your pants?”

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4.“Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?”

5.“You know what winks and then screws like a tiger?” *winks*

6.“What’s a nice person like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?”

7.“Want to go halves on a baby?”

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8.“I was feeling very off today, but then you turned me on.”

9.“Do you have room for an extra tongue in your mouth?”

10.“Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.”

11.“My magical watch says you aren’t wearing any pants. Oh, you are? It must be an hour ahead.”

12.“Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in my car.”

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13.“‘I have a boy-friend’. Well, let me know when you’re ready to upgrade to a man!”

14.“Excuse me, I just shat in my pants. Can I get in yours?”

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15.“If I were a dog would you help me bury my bone?”

16.“Tonight, this Han doesn’t want to fly Solo.”

17.“I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.”

18.“I might not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you!”

19.“If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?”

20.“Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?”

21.“There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to take back to my place and mount.”

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22.“I was so enchanted by you that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.”

23.“Don’t tell me if you want me to take you out to dinner. Just smile for yes, or do a backflip for no.”

24.“I’m going for a walk. Would you hold this?” *holds out hand*

25.“We’re quarantined in the same house, your options are kind of limited.”

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26.“I hear you’ve been a bad boy/girl. Now go to my room!”

27.“Do you want to give me an Australian kiss? It’s like French kissing but you’re going down under.”

28.“You bring a whole new meaning to the word ‘edible.’”

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29.“You see that door over there? Let’s go out.”

30.“Are you Stacey’s mom? Cause, you’ve got it going on.”

Alright, there’s your 30 pick up lines. Enjoy them, use them, don’t abuse them, make them work (somehow). Good luck!