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30 of the best funny pick up lines

Pick up line, anyone? Welcome, fellow bad daters. You are not alone. Let me change your game in a way that’s so hilariously bad, that it’s got to be good… one would hope. Here are 30 of the world’s funniest (or worst) pick up lines. Word of caution: if they ain’t laughin’, run Forest, run, because you might not be the only one delivering a punchline.

30 funny pickup lines

1.“If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.”

2.“Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.”

3.“I lost my keys… Can I check your pants?”

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4.“Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?”

5.“You know what winks and then screws like a tiger?” *winks*

6.“What’s a nice person like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?”

7.“Want to go halves on a baby?”

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8.“I was feeling very off today, but then you turned me on.”

9.“Do you have room for an extra tongue in your mouth?”

10.“Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.”

11.“My magical watch says you aren’t wearing any pants. Oh, you are? It must be an hour ahead.”

12.“Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in my car.”

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13.“‘I have a boy-friend’. Well, let me know when you’re ready to upgrade to a man!”

14.“Excuse me, I just shat in my pants. Can I get in yours?”

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15.“If I were a dog would you help me bury my bone?”

16.“Tonight, this Han doesn’t want to fly Solo.”

17.“I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.”

18.“I might not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you!”

19.“If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?”

20.“Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?”

21.“There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to take back to my place and mount.”

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22.“I was so enchanted by you that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.”

23.“Don’t tell me if you want me to take you out to dinner. Just smile for yes, or do a backflip for no.”

24.“I’m going for a walk. Would you hold this?” *holds out hand*

25.“We’re quarantined in the same house, your options are kind of limited.”

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26.“I hear you’ve been a bad boy/girl. Now go to my room!”

27.“Do you want to give me an Australian kiss? It’s like French kissing but you’re going down under.”

28.“You bring a whole new meaning to the word ‘edible.’”

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29.“You see that door over there? Let’s go out.”

30.“Are you Stacey’s mom? Cause, you’ve got it going on.”

Alright, there’s your 30 pick up lines. Enjoy them, use them, don’t abuse them, make them work (somehow). Good luck!

Top 15 of the best dirty pick up lines

Best pick up lines

For new gens, cringey pick up lines made by self-assured men at a bar are but a reality strictly seen in 90s movies. But where OK Boomers associate pick up lines with sketchy bars, new gens associate them with dating apps. We’ve all had one (at least) sent to us. And let’s be honest, some of us have also sent an occasional one to some hot match, too.

When it comes to sparking a conversation with a stranger on an app, pick up lines come in handy—or at least are the easiest, and sometimes worst, way to get that convo flowing. And as virtual conversations on dating apps are currently rising by the millions, with Bumble recording a 26 per cent increase in sent messages in New York alone, more and more ingenious pick up lines are showing up on our radar. That’s why we decided to deep dive through the many pick up lines we’ve seen, from funny pick up lines and dirty ones to lame and cringey ones, and created a compilation of the best pick up lines ever.

COVID-19 pick up lines

As sensitive of a topic the COVID-19 pandemic can be, it’s also good to laugh at the gravity of the situation. It seems like many people using dating apps have already seen the potential in coronavirus pick lines. Here are 5 of the best ones we’ve received:

“Should I spell it COVI-19 or do you want the D?”

“Is that ass a ventilator? Because it’s giving me life right now.”

“Is heaven your quarantine zone? Because you look like an angel.”

“I’m just a girl, standing 6 feet away from a boy, asking him to maybe move back another foot. Thanks.”

“Are you a pandemic? Because you’ve got my heart on lockdown.”

Dirty pick up lines

Dirty pick up lines are a risky move. Very few people will appreciate receiving one as a conversation starter, but the ones who dare to use them seriously and successfully deserve a lot of respect.

“Down to wine and 69 if you’re up to drink whiskey and get frisky.”

“Your pics got me hard but your bio made me cum.”

“Have you got home insurance? ‘Cause I’m gonna smash your back door in.”

“Are you a chicken farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.”

“Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you.”

Extra cringey pick up lines

If you ask us, most pick up lines are cringey but sometimes, you get lucky (or unlucky) and end up receiving an extra cringey one. Here are a few of the cringiest pick up lines out there:

“Is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hot-tea!”

“If you and I were socks we’d make a great pair.”

“I’m glad I brought my library card with me, ‘cause girl I am checking you out.”

“Do I know you? You look like my next girlfriend… 🙊”

“Let’s play Barbie. I’ll be Ken and you can be the box I come in.”

Horney lines that don’t have any context

These ones aren’t real pick up lines, but they’re conversation starters that made us laugh because of how random and weird they sound. Enjoy!

“Out of all the animals in the world, which would you eat its ass?”

“You look like a serial killer.”

“Hello, I’m filth.”

“I have coke and you can call me daddy if you like.”


Pick up lines are very much still part of dating culture, however, new gens have realised how to use them in different ways, without giving them too much credibility or importance. Sending your newest match one horney pick up line as a conversation starter might not sound like the best idea, but, if done the right way, it could be seen as a charming and funny joke.

With the important part that dating apps took in our dating lives came the overflow of boring chats. ‘Hey lovely’ and ‘What’s up?’ are not enough anymore—everyone deserves a bit more than that—pick up lines can sometimes represent that extra effort.

So, what are you waiting for? Try your luck, try to start a conversation with a pick up line (you get some extra points if you use a COVID-19 one).