Has hen do culture gone mad? TikTokers say bridal group chats give them financial anxiety
As someone who has never been to a hen do before, I’d like to preface this article by clarifying that I am forming these opinions solely based off of half a dozen TikToks. I’d also like to emphasise that my need to insert myself into conversations that were doing just fine without me is something I am seriously working on. That being said… It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to clock the fact that hen do culture has officially gone a tad mental. Rather than a cheeky night out and a couple of penis straws, hen dos have now turned into full-scale extravaganzas—crammed with multiple expensive dinners, weekend trips abroad, and more.
While brides have every right to envision and request a hen do that fully lives up to their expectations, I’ve seen more and more conversations arise about whether or not it’s asking too much of your bridesmaids to, for example, fork out hundreds of pounds to go on a long bridal weekend.
Being a main boo in the bridal party is an honour but it can also be insanely expensive. And as is often the case with the internet, people have very strong opinions about this topic and they differ greatly from one creator to the next. Do you think hen do culture has gone too far? Or are these events simply evolving with the times? Let’s discuss.
Has hen do culture gone mad?
This entire saga has been gaining traction for quite some time now. Hen do videos probably take up 30 per cent of my TikTok FYP, and more often than not they involve some kind of extremely lavish compilation which features a dozen or so girls in matching satin pyjamas sipping mimosas on the Spanish coast and enjoying the finest garlic prawns Ibiza has to offer. Gen Z weddings now even have their own dedicated TikTok trend.
@untappedibiza Weekend in Ibiza - Hen do itinerary ✌🏼🤍 #hendoibiza #ibizahenparty #ibizahendo #ibiza2023 #amanteibuza #ushuaiaibiza #gigiandolive #meshki #nobuibiza #untappedibiza #ibizaweekend #ibizaitinerary
♬ original sound - Üntapped Ibiza
One creator, Mikaela Robyn, posted a video expressing feelings of stress and anxiety when she finds herself added into a hen do group chat. “I just get the fear when I get added to a group chat that’s for someone’s hen do because I start spiralling about the cost of everything, and that’s not to say that I don’t enjoy going on them. They just seem to escalate these days. I have spent so much money on hen dos in the past, [and] the costs have been ridiculous. I’ve probably spent more on hen dos than I have on my own holidays,” the TikToker shared.
@mikaelarobyn We need to talk about the cost of hen-dos 😳😅☀️ #hendo #budgetingtips #budgetingtiktok #personalfinanceuk #personalfinances #costoflivingcrisis
♬ original sound - Mikaela | Mum Life & Money 💕
It definitely feels as though there are increased societal expectations for hen dos to be getting bigger, longer, and more lavish. And when you consider those expenses on top of the money you’ll be investing into the wedding day itself, being a bridesmaid ends up basically costing the equivalent of a BBL.
@rozbrierley What happened to a night in a pub?! #hendo #bacheloretteparty #expensive #relatable #20s #30s
♬ original sound - Roz B
How expensive is the average hen do?
According to research from Hotels.com, the average cost of a UK hen do has gone up by 60 per cent in the last ten years, from £150 to £242 per person. Emma Tagg, a spokesperson for the travel company, stated: “We have even seen a 12 per cent increase in searches for group trips compared to 2019, with people clearly ready to celebrate in style. It’s clear Brits are going bigger than ever with more holiday days being taken and more money being spent this year.”
A lot of British brides now do two hen dos, one abroad for their groups of friends, and one in the UK so that some of their family members can come along.
Wedding planner Georgina Rose events made a video on this exact topic, sharing some tips for brides when it comes to planning their hen dos. In the comments section, netizens naturally began debating back and forth about what the correct mindset was:
@georginaroseevents AD | The most expensive elephant in the room! Hen Do’s 💃 What are you thoughts - How much is too much? How many is too many? Let me know the good the bad and the cheeky! @zopamoney #henparty #weddingbudget #weddingplanning #zopamoney #weddingtips #wedmin #hendo
♬ original sound - The Wedding Planner
One user wrote: “If the bride wants to go away, she should have budgeted for this within her wedding budget so the people she wants there can be more affordable.” Another netizen noted: “Keep it simple! 1 hen do, 1 day, cheap and cheerful, that’s accessible for everyone you want there, to have fun, get drunk and let their hair down.”
Weddings are already highly political in nature—as I’m sure you’ve realised by now, everyone has an opinion about everything. It’s always been like that. But it is kind of insane to see so many people online saying that for some people, the thought of being invited to a bridal party is about as anxiety-inducing as the prospect of being stuck in an elevator with Rishi Sunak. So brides, best think a little bit about your friends’ wallets before you put the British Airways Dubai flight details in the group chat.
