For decades, cakes have been synonymous with birthdays. Nothing screams joy as much as cutting the popular dessert to the sounds of confetti poppers in the background. Over the past few years, however, we’ve realised that everyday is a celebration in itself. Gone are the times when cake shops only piped ‘Happy Birthday’ onto the confection. Today, we honour everything from divorces and pregnancies to… car accidents and even calling the cops on your neighbours.
And this is exactly what ‘Cakes with threatening auras’ is here to document. As an “educational” Twitter account, the social media project features all sorts of creations—from the most comical cakes to the downright bizarre ones that will haunt your dreams forever.
So, what are you waiting for? Take the whisk with us and scroll through these cursed cakes that will make you believe there are two types of people on the internet today: those who bake and those who get baked.
Is that… ketchup?
Threat or a delightful promise? Depends on who you ask.
Corporate needs you to find all the cakes in this picture.
I have so many questions but none that I want answered.
Pro tip: add laxatives to the frosting.
How does one successfully eat this?
Do better or do batter, I guess.
Who you gonna call?
For some reason, I don’t think this was a mistake.
Reminds me of the time when people were making popsicles with positive pregnancy tests to break the news to their partners.
Same, Elmo. Same.
Who wants to eat this certified freak, seven days a week?
Introducing the inedible Hulk.
Charmander looks a bit too baked here.
Is it just me or does the lack of apostrophe bother anyone else?
Have you ever felt a cake?
Robert Pattinson and the cult of the dissociative pout.
Eat my sad face, you must!
2020core called, they want their poster child back.
Congratulations, you’ve been rickrolled by a cake.
Perry the Platypus, is that you?
Okay, this one officially takes the cake.
All Cakes Are Baked (ACAB).
History in the baking.
New frosting, who dis?
Bake it till you make it.
Quick, make a wish.
Take another slice of this, you will.
Everything about this is pure evil.
For years, Disney fans have been reimagining princesses as humans (with the help of AI) and modern women living in the 21st century. Heck, even celebrities like Taylor Swift and Rihanna have been reconceptualised as Disney characters in the past. Just when the iconic princesses thought they’d seen it all, food magazine Lucky Peach took four hot dogs, four buns and some condiments to assemble the ultimate homage to the characters ever.
“We put our heads together and thought about what kinds of Disney princesses would inspire us the most,” masterminds behind the creation, Anna Hezel and Gabriella Paiella, wrote in a column for the magazine. “And obviously we thought of hot dogs. Disney has never created a princess who was a hot dog—dumb, in our opinion.” Preach!
The princesses who got the ‘weiner treatment’ include Rapunzel, Ariel, Pocahontas and Belle. Before you eagerly scroll past this paragraph to view them, let me also acknowledge the presence of a tutorial. Yes, you can DIY these scrumptious characters from scratch. “For Ariel, slice two small circles from the outer rings of a red onion and secure them to her hot dog bosom with mustard,” the chefs wrote. Apart from onion bikinis, lettuce fins, cheese cleavages and ketchup braids are also in the mix.
“Literally any way you decide to reimagine Disney princesses, it will be inspiring and beautiful,” both Hezel and Paiella concluded. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty inspired to head into my kitchen after seeing these bizarre creations:
Pocahontas’ hot dog is proof that cheese can hug one’s curves in all the right places:
Absolutely love how the chefs ketchup-ed their way into Belle’s half-up hairstyle:
Rapunzel after Flynn cuts her hair too short:
Red onion bikini tops > Shell bikini tops:
Where do I sign up to join this gang?