You just can’t keep a Goop girl down. Gwyneth Paltrow, aka self-proclaimed lifestyle guru and highly problematic wellness CEO, has announced that her hella boujee guest house is officially available for rental. So, if you’ve ever wondered what it might be like to spend a night in the presence of Paltrow, plug in an IV drip and soak in the California sun, keep reading.

On Wednesday 2 August 2023, Paltrow shared a video on her Instagram announcing the news. In the caption, the actor wrote: “Airbnb had the brilliant idea of doing something to make the world a little less lonely, which is why I’m inviting you to come stay at my Montecito guesthouse for a night. While we may begin as strangers, I hope we’ll find connections and commonalities over a delicious meal. Lay by the pool, go on one of my favorite hikes and of course you’ll have a bathroom stocked with my favorite @goop products for a truly luxuriating stay.”

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A post shared by Gwyneth Paltrow (@gwynethpaltrow)

I don’t know about you, but the Goop founder’s invite is sounding eerily like the beginning sequence of a horror film wherein an eccentric celebrity takes maybe one too many psychedelic “healing” mushrooms and sets loose with a hatchet and a $200 manicure.

me coming back from my gwyneth paltrow airbnb retreat pic.twitter.com/6iu5EdYUNz https://t.co/U8q1Mwsutl

— megan (@chismosavirus) August 1, 2023

Now, let’s dive into the important details: How do you throw your name into the hat? And how on Earth is anyone who’s not a multi-millionaire going to be able to afford the one-night stay?

Well, there haven’t been a ton of details released, except for the fact that the property goes live on 15 August at 10 am Pacific Standard Time (PST). There’s been no indication of if they’ll be a price or how the “chosen one” will be selected—presumably, Paltrow will take a dip in an ice bath, apply some Youth-Boost Peptide Serum and consult other self-proclaimed wellness gurus such as Kourtney Kardashian to make her pick.

It might simply be a lucky dip situation so regardless of your budget, make sure to set yourself a reminder for that fateful morning in August. Also, if you happen to have any plans or holidays booked for 9 September, I’d be tempted to reschedule because Paltrow is only putting her guest house on the staycation market for one night and one night only.

One might suggest that the actor’s generous act could be in response to the intense backlash she received following a recent interview during which she promoted what some have labelled as a highly toxic and unhealthy diet.

Airbnb is well-known for offering customers the chance to spend a night in a wide range of pretty impressive spots. Most recently, Margot Robbie babes were given the opportunity to relax and kick back in none other than the iconic Barbie dreamhouse. I personally would pay a lot of money purely in hopes that I’d see Ryan Gosling lounging around on a lilo, but that’s just me.

And for all you Potterheads out there, Airbnb also catered for you in 2022, publicising a Harry Potter-themed home. Decked out with Hogwartesque decor and artwork, the beautiful house in York was definitely a witch or warlock’s absolute dream staycation.

I think the most interesting aspect of this entire Paltrow x Airbnb concept is the fact that their primary focus and goal is addressing the increase in “loneliness” that’s been riddling the human condition following the COVID-19 pandemic.

I’m a massive advocate for trying to bring comfort and community to those who’re feeling isolated, I’m just not sure that Paltrow realises how tone-deaf it sounds to suggest that a single night in her guest house could in turn cure someone’s loneliness.