‘Are we dating the same guy?’ It’s a question as old as time, and not that long ago, nearly impossible to answer. Then came the Facebook groups, where women living in specific cities started comparing notes. Which makes it kind of shocking that no one turned it into an app… until now.
Introducing the Tea Dating Advice app, more commonly referred to as Tea. The app allows members to ask questions to an “anonymous community of women to make sure your date is safe, not a catfish, and not in a relationship.” While it’s not currently available in the UK or Australia, it already has over 1.5 million users in the US and is, as of writing this, rated number one in lifestyle apps.
Branding itself as “a big chat with all the girlies in the US making sure we’re not dating the same guy,” it’s become a key, go-to source for some to do a background check on a potential date.
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On the Tea app, women post photos of the men they’re dating and ask if anyone else has any ‘tea’ on them. That can mean anything from ghosting stories to serious red flags. The app includes features like a live sex offender map, and you can even search someone’s name to instantly check for a criminal record. All in the name of safer dating.
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Tea users have discovered their dates were actually married, used the reverse image search to catch catfishes, and relied on real reviews to spot red flags straight from experience, not guesswork.
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In the App Store reviews, users are singing Tea’s praises. One comment says: “It’s basically Yelp for exes. You get to see what people say about the person you’re thinking about matching with. And listen, that’s a game-changer for the girls who are done wasting time on smooth-talking liabilities. What’s it giving?! Real feedback from real people.”
Tea might help women find out more about their date, but it also raises a bigger question: Why does it feel so necessary? In recent years, straight women have had a rough time navigating modern dating. From dating fatigue and airing their grievances on TikTok to the search for no-BS dating apps, the frustration is real. They’re still dealing with everything from catfishing, ghosting and love bombing to breadcrumbing and benching at best, and at worst, they are victim of assault, gaslighting, and abuse.
This is where Tea’s features may prove useful. If you have a pattern of falling for the ‘wrong guy,’ Tea will at least let you know for certain.
The app, however, is facing some criticism—mostly from men. An App Store reviewer is accusing Tea of defaming men, writing: “This platform is being abused by women in real time to spread lies and hate on as many men as possible, even if they never met them or talked to them.”
“Many of these women spread the most horrid lies just because they may think you’re ugly, short, have a bad haircut or you could be the least problematic attractive guy and they will still spread lies… Many men are already coming out debunking these claims and some of these women they never met, didn’t know they even exist so quite literally they are defaming any man they could just because they can.”
Others are taking to social media with complaints, saying that men are being ‘doxxed’ on the app, which is the act of publishing personal information about a person on the internet, without their consent.
X user @ObviousRises wrote: “As if dating apps weren’t horrific enough for men, now women are doxxing, gossiping and ‘red flagging’ men 1984-style using the app ‘Tea Dating Advice.’ Need a version for men where women’s body counts and weight are shown.”
As if dating apps weren’t horrific enough for men, now women are doxxing, gossiping and “red flagging” men 1984 style using the app ‘Tea Dating Advice’ which is now #2 on the apple app store.
Need a version for men where women’s body counts and weight are shown. pic.twitter.com/QEGnkma6hf
— MR. OBVIOUS (@ObviousRises) July 22, 2025
Clearly, occurrences where innocent men are being doxxed need to be looked at. But some complaints on social media sound like they have come straight from the manosphere.
The app is also currently facing a cybersecurity incident, following unauthorised access to its systems. Tea says it has launched a full investigation, with support from external cybersecurity experts.
Tea’s official statement reports: “A legacy data storage system was compromised, resulting in unauthorised access to a dataset from prior to February 2024. This dataset includes approximately 72,000 images, including approximately 13,000 selfies and photo identification submitted by users during account verification and approximately 59,000 images publicly viewable in the app from posts, comments and direct messages.”
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User @esjesjesj wrote on X: “Obviously the Tea app had privacy and surveillance issues but it’s a little on the nose that when women wanted to feel safe while dating men, men responded by doxxing and harassing them.”
Obviously the tea app had privacy and surveillance issues but it’s a little on the nose that when women wanted to feel safe while dating men, men responded by doxxing and harassing them pic.twitter.com/lP1qYHnJoV
— evan loves worf (@esjesjesj) July 26, 2025
The heterosexual dating scene might be in desperate need of a PR overhaul, but whether an app like Tea will improve things or make them messier remains to be seen.