In a relationship, do you expect weekly flowers, coffee in bed every morning, or even prefer not to know the final restaurant bill? This is what TikTok is calling ‘princess treatment.’

Although the trend has been circulating for a little while already, its undertones of misogyny and out-of-date gender roles are coming to the forefront now more than ever.

While ‘princess treatment’ means different things to different people, the trend broadly explores how some want to be treated in a relationship, compared to what others see as just the bare minimum.

Examples of what some see as the bare minimum (pulling out a chair, letting your partner choose the film, buying their favourite snack, or planning a date without being prompted) are viewed by others as full-on princess treatment.

What began as an innocent trend has spiralled into a full-blown internet debate, sparking conversations about relationship dynamics and traditional gender roles.

Influencer Courtney Palmer, who goes by @courtney_joelle on TikTok, has a 29-video playlist dedicated to teaching others how to get the princess treatment. In it, she shares her own experiences, like when she and her husband go out for dinner: she doesn’t open any doors, doesn’t speak to or even look at the servers, and doesn’t order her own food.

Palmer insists it’s not about being rude, but rather about “letting your husband lead and be masculine,” something she describes as “a fun princess treatment thing.”

The video has racked up over 100,000 likes and nearly 1,000 comments. “Me when I’m prisoner,” one user joked. But not everyone was laughing. One former restaurant server commented, “If I saw this, I’d genuinely be concerned it was a case of domestic violence.”

@jojoejoelle

Princess Treatment Dining Edition 🕊️🤍 #princesstreatment #princesstreatmentonly #husbandwife #marriage #marriedlife #husband #healthymarriage

♬ original sound - courtney_joelle

The housewife (or tradwife) influencer doesn’t stop there. In her ‘How to get Princess Treatment Lesson One’ video, she says you have to “speak positive words” to men to get more of what you want. “You need to make him feel like what he’s done is the best thing in the world, that he’s the great guy,” Palmer claims. In other words, she believes that you have to pamper their egos, basically. Could never be me.

@jojoejoelle

How to get Princess Treatment Lesson One ❣️💌✨ #princess #princesstreatment #housewife #housewifelife #chitchatwithme

♬ original sound - courtney_joelle

Despite concerns from those commenting, it’s not stopping some from viewing these videos as aspirational. One user posted a video of her boyfriend pouring the sand out of her shoes, seemingly echoing Palmer’s ‘lessons,’ saying, “When you treat him right, princess treatment always follows.”

@dianazbayz

Princess treatment only 🥹🤍 @Hussein Bayz #husbandwife

♬ Ordinary (Wedding Version) - Alex Warren

The trend hasn’t gone unchecked. Not everyone is buying into Palmer’s version of princess treatment. Comedian Tyler Bender hit back with a TikTok parody, splicing clips of her own reactions with Palmer’s original videos. “You literally just cook and clean all day,” Bender says. “The only princess treatment you’re getting is Cinderella.”

@tyler.benderr

The princess treatment epidemic MUST be stopped! #princesstreatment #tradwives #tradwife #comedy

♬ original sound - TYLER

Another user questioned what happens if your partner orders something you don’t like—or worse, something you’re allergic to. Creator Meredith Lynch responded with satire, joking that if you go into anaphylactic shock, you shouldn’t use your EpiPen because it’s “not very feminine.”

@meredithmlynch

That one lady on your fyp trying to make princess treatment happen. Courtney Joelle why did you block me?!? 😭😭

♬ original sound - Meredith Lynch

Running alongside the trend is the ongoing debate: princess treatment or bare minimum? Couples are taking it to TikTok with a playful twist, usually involving a boyfriend or husband sitting in a chair while his partner holds a hose, ready to spray him if he answers questions wrong. It’s giving puppy-being-trained-not-to-chew-the-sofa energy.

 

The girlfriend or wife then asks whether things like paying for a manicure, offering up shoes when her heels start to hurt, or sharing food (especially the last bite) count as princess treatment or just the bare minimum.

 

“I’m basically just trying to drill it in his head that everything should be bare minimum,” an influencer told the New York Times in an article asking if princess treatment can go too far.

@bradandmill

Princess Treatment or Bare Minimum challenge with my boyfriend… let’s just say everything is bare minimum 😆🤣 #boyfriendchallenge #challenge #coupleschallenge #funnyboyfriend #boyfriendsoftiktok #couplescomedy #couplestrend #princesstreatment

♬ original sound - Brad and Mill

@charlesnsylvia

he should have known bare minimum is the only answer 💁‍♀️👑

♬ original sound - Charles & Sylvia

Writing for The Daily Beast, Clare Donaldson called the ‘princess treatment’ trend (including Palmer’s videos) a “red flag,” explaining that it’s rooted in rigid gender roles.

So, while some of the videos in this trend are a lighthearted look at relationships and expectations, there is a cause for worry.

With the ongoing rise of the manosphere, topics covered in the Netflix show Adolescence, and people like Andrew Tate still gaining attention, do we really need another trend encouraging men to tap into their masculine energy?

Donaldson adds: “While the direct impact of these misogynistic narratives is difficult to measure, their potential to radicalise—both men and women—is undeniable.”

I’m here for the videos of girls being carried around by their partners to the sound of Lana Del Rey singing, ‘He holds me in his big arms / Drunk and I am seeing stars / This is all I think of,’ or clips set to Usher’s ‘Daddy’s Home’. These takes on the trend remain lighthearted. But when it turns into ‘lessons’ and ‘rules’ on how to be a princess, it starts to feel like a step too far.

Losing your voice—staying silent and letting your boyfriend speak for you, as some ‘princess treatment’ advice suggests—isn’t just outdated, it’s dangerous. At a time when there’s still so much to fight for, we need to be louder and more vocal than ever.