Forget leaving cookies and milk out for Santa Claus or opening your Advent calendar in one sitting. This Christmas, we’re testing a new festive tradition: celebrity public relation (PR) predictions. One TikToker has taken it upon herself to deliver us 25 days worth of ferocious forecasting—picking one celebrity at a time in an attempt to try and predict their next business venture, scandal, relationship or career change.

TikTok creator and marketing and advertising expert Robyn DelMonte, or as she’s known on the app @girlbosstown—iconic name, I know—posted a video to her page on 28 November 2022 kicking off her annual “PRedictions.” The influencer explained to her followers: “From now until New Year’s Eve I’m going to be picking one celebrity a day to predict what their 2023 is going to look like.”

@girlbosstown

Replying to @isabella_loafea #greenscreen #kardashians

♬ original sound - GirlBossTown

Now, DelMonte is no rookie, this is her second time predicting the future of high-ranking celebrities and, since 2021, her online presence has skyrocketed. In fact, she recently snatched a coveted spot on Forbes’ 30 under 30 list. So, with a trained veteran leading the charge, let’s unpack some of the juiciest and most shocking A-lister PRedictions for 2023.

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A post shared by GIRLBOSSTOWN ( GBT ) (@girlbosstown)

The fact that internet bestie and overall good-time Khloé Kardashian doesn’t host a podcast already is truly bewildering. Having conquered the radio programme empire with her eponymous show Khloé After Dark, it makes perfect sense for the mighty Kardashian to explore the booming podcast sphere—especially considering that she’d easily go toe to toe with sister Kim, who recently launched her own true crime show on Spotify.

As DelMonte predicts, “I think she’s going to return to the podcast or hosting space and I think the first episode that she does is going to be with her brother Rob Kardashian, and it’s going to be his time to tell his story and explain what he’s been doing since he got out of the spotlight.”

Other predictions for Khloé included her running the New York City marathon in 2023 and launching her own line of home goods in collaboration with The Home Edit—a reality TV show hosted by two expert home organisers. Both of these predictions make sense given that Khloé is a well-known fitness nut and, in an infamous Keeping up with the Kardashians scene, the reality star also met an OCD therapist to discuss her obsessive home habits.

With a pantry as organised as Khloé, it only makes sense to capitalise on those skills and bring out a product range of her own.

Next on DelMonte’s PR predictions list is none other than actress Jenna Ortega, aka the “it girl of the moment.” The mass success of Netflix’s series Wednesday—in which Ortega stars as the eponymous protagonist, Wednesday Adams—has catapulted the young actress into the spotlight.

So, what does DelMonte predict for this rising star’s 2023 PR timeline? Firstly, the TikToker claims that when Ortega graces the prestigious Met Gala 2023, she’ll be dressed head to toe in Vivienne Westwood. More specifically, the actress will be channelling a “spooky take on the theme of Karl.” This is, of course, a reference to the upcoming year’s theme: Chanel’s controversial former commander-in-chief Karl Lagerfeld.

DelMonte has even forecast a potential celebrity connection for the young actress. According to the influencer, Ortega may soon be seen galavanting about Hollywood with equally spooky Stranger Things star and musician Finn Wolfhard.

Finally, in what I’d personally deem the most thrilling 2023 prediction, DelMonte has claimed that Ortega will make an appearance in the highly anticipated—yet sadly unlikely—third instalment of The Princess Diaries, playing the role of Princess Mia’s long-lost sister.

While I would love for this prediction to come true, the reality is that even though a third film has been on the cards for some time now, it’s never come to fruition. And Julie Andrews—who played the iconic Queen Clarisse—has even stated that she doubts she would be able to participate in a third film. The country of Genovia may unfortunately have to remain in the shadows, existing only in the hearts of those who experienced its wonders in the early 2000s.

@girlbosstown

Replying to @kristirenea #greenscreen #wednesdayaddams

♬ original sound - GirlBossTown

Moving on swiftly—no pun intended—DelMonte grappled with the future forecasts of pop icon Taylor Swift. This particular video received quite a lot of backlash from Swift’s omnipresent and omniscient fanbase. The comments section was filled with aggravated users, some who simply disagreed with the creator’s predictions, and others who mistook her thoughts for an outright attack on their almighty idol. Let’s unpack the ones that received the most retaliation, shall we?

It was in fact DelMonte’s first prediction that sent the Swift nation spiralling. Moments into her video, the TikToker hypothesised that the ‘Anti Hero’ singer would feature on a Vogue cover in 2023 and that she would be showcasing her wedding ring. As noted by DelMonte, “Personally, I think she’s already married. But I think she’s going to hint at it more in 2023 and show it off in Vogue.”

@girlbosstown

#greenscreen #taylorswift

♬ original sound - GirlBossTown

The comments section self-destructed, as fans attacked their keyboards in an attempt to establish the relationship status of Swift and long-term boyfriend Joe Alwyn. One wrote: “I usually agree with you but as a die-hard Swiftie this is mostly a miss for me, it’s not very Taylor-like stuff, she just wouldn’t do these.” Another user simply stated, “aimed & missed.”

There was also a horde of comments begging DelMonte to listen to Swift’s song ‘Lavender Haze’ wherein she supposedly insinuates she is not married and is tired of people speculating about the same.

It appears that with great power comes great responsibility. So, stay prepared as we continue our run up to Christmas—which celebrity will be next?

Ever since 2016, the internet has made a tradition out of celebrating surveillance capitalism in the guise of tailored reports that recap our habits of the year. Following the launch of Spotify Wrapped—the coveted feature that fans routinely grind towards and base their entire personality around when it drops every December—the concept of a ‘year-in-review’ has gripped most digital services today.

While Apple Music has its revamped Replay feature and YouTube Music offers a Recap experience, Deezer releases its summaries in the form of #MyDeezerYear and Amazon Music generates rather disappointing playlists for users. Heck, even Reddit has its own Recap feature that illustrates the amount of time you spent shitposting and visiting various subs in the hopes of finding a custom long Furby.

Over the past few years, Spotify Wrapped’s impact has catapulted the feature as a cultural reset among gen Zers and millennials alike. Today, both generations expect every single online platform to track and judge their data in exchange for aesthetic statistics they can share with the rest of the world. And, as it turns out, their dating lives are no exception.

A Spotify Wrapped report essentially gives you insights about your top five artists, genres and songs, audio personality (what even is Sorrow Escapism Liminal Space?), and amount of minutes listened. Now, imagine such information being pulled from your miserable presence on dating apps like Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, OkCupid, and more.

If you ask me, the report would read something like this: “In 2022, you swiped right on 26 crypto bros and 38 people named Matt. You went on a sum total of 25 dates with your matches, out of whom 5 kittenfished you, 13 ghosted you right after, and 2 blocked and reported your profile to our teams. You took 150 screenshots of cringey profiles to share with your WhatsApp group chat, and even rage quit our app 7 times. What was that all about, huh?”

“You also received 57 unsolicited gym selfies, but to top things off, you were among the top 1 per cent of users who slid into people’s DMs at 3 am! Congratulations, your dating app rizz is doomed beyond recovery!”

It’s worth noting that the conversation about dating apps having their own year-in-review feature has been making the rounds for a while now. In 2020, comedian Grace Hayes went viral after she uploaded her DIY Bumble Wrapped on TikTok. Leveraging the green screen effect, Hayes curated #bumblewrapped on the video-sharing platform—with 44,800 views and counting. The clip was so popular that even Bumble left a comment stating: “This is AMAZING. Inspiring us 😏😏”

The following year, software engineer Niko Draca created a third-party website for Hinge users to generate their own Wrapped reports. “First thing you’ll see is how many people you encountered on the app and how many you said yes to,” Draca explained in the widely-circulated clip. “Then you’ll see all of the likes, rejections, matches, etc over the year. You can also see what time of the day you sent the most chat messages, how many people you chatted with in total, and how long those conversations lasted.” Apart from the top three emojis, the website additionally provided users with a word cloud made up of the terms they deployed the most in DMs.

Draca was undoubtedly the trailblazer for Hinge Wrapped, and it’s safe to say that the dating app has been real quiet since the video went viral.

@nikodraca

@Hinge 🖤 Wrapped #spotifywrapped2021 #selflove #manifestation #hinge #datingapp

♬ All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor's Version) (From The Vault) - Taylor Swift

Fast forward to 2022, TikTok users have now taken things up a notch with a trend called ‘Dating Wrapped’—where they are seen brutally recapping their past year in romance in hopes of manifesting a better love life. Here, insights are no longer restricted to a single dating app. Instead, they focus on the participants’ relationship exploits in general, including how they met their matches, what they did on first dates, and how many times they cried over someone.

All of the data is then collated onto… a PowerPoint slideshow, and the deck is later presented using a laptop angled towards the viewers.

“[This is] truly one of the most depressing things I’ve ever done,” said Toronto-based TikToker Alexandria McLean in her video which is believed to have kicked off the trend. “I went on 21 first dates… Yikes! I met 66 per cent [of matches] on Bumble and 33 per cent on Hinge. In terms of where we went, activity and dinner are tied at 30 per cent, coffee [and] walking dates [are] at 28 per cent, and drinks are 42 per cent. I don’t know why I went on so many walking dates, I hate walking dates.”

“In terms of who ended it, 90 per cent [of matches] ended it with me. Honestly, [that’s] a low number considering I’m a walking red flag,” McLean continued. “So, if you want to go out and want to be a part of my 2023 Dating Wrapped, hit me up!”

@alexandriathemediocre

It’s brutal out here ✨ #spotifywrapped #dating#datingintoronto#bumble#hinge

♬ original sound - Alexandria

Shortly after McLean’s video floored TikTok, users started querying the creator about the PowerPoint template and font she’d used for her presentation. It even paved the way for the rise of #datingwrapped, now with 8.1 million views and counting.

“If any of these men see this, I want you to know that you’re not special and you’re just a number to me,” TikToker Amber Smith captioned her video, which has since garnered over 3.1 million views. In the clip, Smith detailed that she went on 18 first dates, was handed two parking tickets, and spent a total of $383.36 on her matches. “I wish I had not calculated this number,” she stated. “What could I have done with this money? Literally anything else would’ve been better.”

@amberwavesofbrain

If any of these men see this, I want you to know that you’re not special and you’re just a number to me 😌✌🏼 #datingwrapped #wrapped #tinder #hinge #facebookdating #firstdate

♬ original sound - Amber

As of today, the concept of Dating Wrapped has evolved to include star signs, age gaps, red, beige and pink flags, the number of hoodies participants have stolen from their partners, STIs they’ve treated, as well as the number of tattoos they regret getting. While some bestow digital awards to their dates, others are seen creating introvert and queer editions of the trend.

Given how 2022 still has a couple of weeks left to conclude, I wouldn’t be surprised to witness the introduction of even more metrics to publicly analyse our love lives on the internet. Maybe the presentations can have a section where people note the different aesthetics and subcultures they’ve dated in the past year?

At the end of the day, no matter how many slides you choose to include in your deck, the aim of Dating Wrapped at its core is self-reflection. So, you’re good as long as you walk away with actionable insights and don’t bring all the negative energy gathered in 2022 into your love life in 2023.

If you’ve stumbled across #datingwrapped on TikTok before, you might have noticed comments along the lines of “Don’t be shy, drop that PowerPoint template,” and “What’s the name of the font you’ve used? Where do I download it from?” Sure, these remarks might just be pointers that ultimately help others jump on the trend, however, it’s also another incognito factor that aids the popularity of Dating Wrapped.

With a presence that can be traced back to the COVID-19 pandemic, PowerPoint presentations have become the zeitgeist of gen Zers in cyberspace today. Be it to mansplain our hobbies or interests to others, give a crash course about our favourite series nobody asked for, plot moves in Clash of Clans, prove “the One Piece is real,” or justify that Chainsaw Man’s Makima is worth simping for, slideshows have become our weapon of choice to present peers with digestible chunks of information about the most unhinged topics.

If you really think about it, the resurgence of PowerPoints can be linked to our pathetic eight-second attention span. Gen Zers crave dynamicity in everything they are exposed to and what better way to explain something to the generation than using infographics they can breeze through?

The format also harbours parallels with LOL graphs or ‘silly graphs’ that first gripped meme culture in the mid-2000s. The statistical representation essentially doubled as a visual aid—designed to explain the most non-academic and trivial subjects “for teh lulz XD.”

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A post shared by Sufiyan Junaid (@sufiyanjunaid)

Back to the case of Dating Wrapped, the trend checks out—considering how gen Z Spotify fans have proved to be least concerned about how Big Tech uses their personal data. “I wonder about all my stats on Youtube, Discord, Instagram,” an enthusiast previously told SCREENSHOT. “I wish there were things like Spotify Wrapped in each of them where we can see all our data like the most watched video, channel etc. And even further, I wish god would show us data of our life.”

All that being said, the possibilities of dating apps implementing a Wrapped-like feature seem bleak for the foreseeable future. Until then, you can choose to follow TikToker @cobiscreation’s advice and sneakily screenshot your crush’s Spotify Wrapped report the moment they share it on Instagram. You’ll know the exact songs and artists to stream the next time you guys hang out together.

Who knows, maybe it’ll work wonders for your 2023 Dating Wrapped… or not.

@cobiscreation

Spotify Wrapped is free game #dating #hinge #sneakylink #spotify #fyp #spotifywrapped #fypシ #fypage

♬ original sound - Cobi 👨🏽‍🎨🖼️✨