Dating fatigue is real, and people are quitting dating apps in abundance to seek out meeting potential lovers IRL. And can you really blame them? Online, we have to deal with dating trends like Banksying, moody black cat boyfriends, and ghosting. 

Real-life dating may see you get ‘Shrekked’ (when you lower your standards and date someone outside of your traditional ‘type,’ who looks a bit like Shrek, and they still break your heart), but at least you can start to build a relationship with a real person, and not a 2D picture in your phone. 

Now, science even backs up the benefits of meeting a partner out in the wild. Research reveals that people who meet their partners online report lower levels of satisfaction and experience love less intensely than those who meet in person. 

The findings have emerged in a new study by an international team of researchers led by Dr Marta Kowal from the University of Wrocław, in collaboration with the Australian National University and Professor Craig Roberts, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Stirling. 

The researchers studied over 6,500 individuals in relationships from 50 countries, examining how they found their partners and the impact this had on relationship satisfaction. On average, 16 per cent of participants met their partners online, with this figure rising to 21 per cent among those who initiated their romantic relationships after 2010.

While the participants who met their partners online reported “lower relationship satisfaction and intensity of experienced love, including intimacy, passion and commitment” than those who met in real life, there could also be a reason for this. 

According to the researchers, there are many factors that could explain the study’s findings, including the fact that couples who meet offline tend to have more characteristics in common than those who meet online.

“Similar social and educational backgrounds can positively influence relationship quality by fostering greater social support and acceptance, shared life experiences, and alignment in values and worldviews,” says study co-author Adam Bode.

“The internet provides access to a seemingly limitless pool of potential partners, but while this abundance could help individuals find an ideal match, in practice, it often leads to choice overload.”

And being overloaded can lead to overwhelm, and soon swiping becomes a chore, you add daily ladmin to your to-do list, and the excitement of dating someone new fades. 

The researchers believe motivations for online dating have evolved with “swipe culture,” which describes the immediate nature of dating apps, where users prioritise attraction over a thorough selection process. 

Co-author Bode says that early users of dating apps did seek lifelong partners, but today, people are increasingly seeking something casual from the likes of Bumble, Grindr, Raya, and other apps. “This shift toward short-term, less committed relationships may, in turn, contribute to lower relationship quality,” he says.

The report also suggests that navigating online dating spaces has become increasingly accessible across age groups. It found that Gen Z and Gen Alpha were actually not more inclined than older generations to find love online, despite being born netizens. 

“The other complication that occurs online,” says Bode, “is the risk of ignoring potential red flags that are more apparent in real-life interactions.” He explains that as online dating continues to grow worldwide, the report findings highlight the need for increased support to improve relationship quality for all couples, but especially those who meet online. 

There is still hope for Hinge lovers yet, though, with Roberts explaining that the research is correlational. He says that the findings “don’t imply that relationships which began online are doomed to being unsatisfying, just as partners who meet in real life are not guaranteed to have a long-lasting relationship.” 

Every relationship needs work, but maybe those that blossomed through online dating just need a bit of extra scaffolding for success.